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In the summer of 2004, I had the most life shattering experiences I have ever faced in my life. The events of the summer went like this: My husband decided to leave me after 9 years (I had no clue), 2 days later my father died from brain cancer, I put my dog to sleep because he had cancer, not even an hour after we buried my father, I had to take my husband to the hospital, he had emergency surgery, stayed in the hospital 1 week and then came back home for another week, after taking care of him through this he left again. I even had surgery myself and was out of work for 3 weeks. I had a beautiful home that I had to give up because the note was too high for me to pay alone. SO I found a place to rent and moved. The new car I had was in my ex's name so I handed him the keys to that and said I will get something of my own. In 2 months time I lost my father, my dog, my husband, my home and my car.

I stayed in deep depression and sadness. Not sleeping and when I did not much. Not eating and when I did making myself throw up. Dealing with feelings of suicide every single day. I could not sleep in the dark and could not stand to be by myself scared of what I might do if I was. At times I thought about just driving off the road. Even my faith in God did not seem to be enough to get me through.

I was devastated and felt I just couldn't go on. I realized I needed someone on the outside of my situation to help me see things and went to therapy because I could not keep on living the way I was. Now people may say therapy is for the weak but lemme tell you if you are weak you won't survive!! My therapist asked me on my first visit what I used to do before kids and marriage. What are you good at he said. I said I can write. So he told me start putting all my feelings out on paper. I went home and cried until I was dry and then started on my first poem in 25 years. I have not stopped writing since that time. Writing basically has been a major part of my healing process.

Being able to give the gift of my words to others is the greatest thing I could do. All writers know that the ultimate compliment is to hear someone tell you that your writing touched them-their heart, their mind, their soul or all of them. That your writing evoked deep emotion from them from anger to sadness and everything in between. That you brought tears to their eyes or made them ache for a love they have only read about. I would never care if I made millions of dollars from my writing. The main thing is that I can continue to write, continue to share it and continue to touch people's lives.

The poems you will read range from being on the edge of suicide to thanking God for His grace. Some are black and dark and others are light and hopeful. But all things aside this is MY LIFE in words. Thank you for taking time to read my writing. I hope you enjoy reading it as much I enjoyed writing it.

I am thankful for these things I went through. I could be bitter because of events but I choose not to be. I can't say why I went through so much at one time. Maybe the reason was to make me stronger. Maybe the reason was to help me learn to always look for the good in everything. There is hope and there is light at the end of the storm. So I just wanna say be encouraged my friends. Life is precious!!

I am a living testimony that time will heal all wounds.
I am a living testimony that no matter what happens, you can pull through.
I am a living testimony that the sun will shine after the storm.

UPDATE TO MY LIFE
In 2007, I met Ken Hope. He was not only my husband but my best friend, my king, my  soul mate and my heart. Unfortunately he passed away Oct 6, 2014. Even after this tragic loss, I still remain true to the 3 statements I made above.....now more than ever.

Be Blessed





 

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