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BRING ON THE X-MAS SPIRITSIt's Christmas time as I lay awake counting thousands of sheep Beside me my wife hardly a peep Dog is snoring how can I sleep? Odd sounds of rattling ice in the freezer But it's just the old man we call the old geezer Grandpa a nightcap is trying to sneak The kids think its Santa stealing a peak He will say its just water answer is weak Cat dumped the cookies getting to the milk spilt Wife moans, "Not me!" doesn't want the guilt. She spent all the evening making for Santa a quilt "Now Dancer, and Prancer, Rudolph's irritating red nose I'm going to shoot water on Santa with the garden hose Watch him ice up as it freezes to his clothes I'm running inside it's cold on my toes Waited all night going to give the fat man my boot Everyone else loves him I don't give a hoot Get the Reindeer off my roof or the red nose I'll shoot I'm waiting for football the home team I'll root They don't win often most of the time home team do lose But who cares no one is talking to me as I drink the booze Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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