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How do you learn
rightness from wrong, wrongness from right? What is worth the keeping? What is worth a fight? What do you do when others taunt you... What do you do when no one wanted you? What do you do when home is a place, where Mother/Father make you fear and want to hide your face? Children who are eight shouldn't go crazy feel the thinness of life's veneer. The edge, the edge is/was often dangerously near. Much too severe to go to school the next day. Much too much too big of a world in which to play in. Even harder was the home life I tried to stay in. So instead I stayed out on a summer's night. The stars above seem friendlier... who really cares? But the north wind might... blowing wildly through your fire-less campsite. Who really knows your secrets but your imaginary friend? With him you feel much safer, and even better together sitting on the sloping banks of a raging river's bend. Yes, more at ease than in your own room, your own head. (The one that feels like prison.) So you conjure any excuse to leave lying loudly so you can sleep in the deep dark forest underneath the whispering trees. Real choices aren't for children. Adult enforced choices are as changeable as the breeze... and as swift as a parent's back hand. This, you understand... Your parents are both headed for something ugly later on in their lives. Something from which they can't be saved. A kind of unhappy awakening, a very rude surprise for them lies perhaps an earlier grave? But you've learned that no matter how many or fast the words come your way, No matter how you may feel embittered on any given day... (THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY.) And oh... The mercy you'll be shown... will be your very own. So you do it. Give yourself the grace to get on and get along. To move on and grow older. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder. It bubbles up. It is a crude oil rising up from within. Even when the judgments continue to rush in. You are and will be strong enough. Say "NO." Let this one word answer do your talking. Let your bold response be even shocking. To realize, to let them see after the turmoil, you weren't finished off. Your history's not over yet, no write-off. Listening to the rhythms of soul/blues music and and trying to write something to it. Think of this as an inner dialogue from a long time ago. legal Copyright for this work, by this author for this site title Meloo/straight from her Tilt-a-World April 27 2012 All Rights Reserved By the Author Melissa A Howells Meloo Tilt-a-World Vote for this poem |
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