I've been waiting for the storm
that never comes.
All my life I've lived
in tornado alley
never trusted
Mother Nature
or myself
perhaps not anyone.
Always waiting
waiting waiting
and it takes it
weighty toll.
Have had to live underground
and have sought shelter
even when the winds
did not sway
did not blow.
Because I thought I knew
for certain
when and how they would come.
(It can be so difficult,
when you do not, can not
trust in God or anyone.)
But now,
I've grown lucky...
I recognize what foolishness
I have done.
All my anxious minutes
and worn-out hours
wasted anticipating pretended
storms and pounding showers
that always passed or maybe
that never ever were to come...
I turned my power over
and over to my perceptions
and blind circumstance
hobbling myself and hurting others
blotting out at times
all possibility of sun.
Never giving myself
nor others a fighting chance.
While blindly
expecting better results
from repeating actions and in-actions
always adding up to the same
circumstance
and lop-sided sum.
But now...
I've got a new place to start
from...
It may be a fragile sapling,
but a new life has taken root
and my growing process
has just begun.
I've sifted out some hope from
amongst the debris
I'll take the simple changes
as they come
sprung from me
and trust the process
and in the meantime
start living in the sun.
Copyright May 3rd, 2012
All Rights Reserved By Author
Melissa A Howells meloo Tilt-a-World
A Work in Progress...a little wordy perhaps, but working slowly but surely on it.