If you turn 75 at the Airport
You don't have to take off your shoes
I guess too many old people
Found wandering around the airport
Looking for their shoes
I love the attention
Walk through the screen-er
The bell rings: take off your belt
My pants fall to the floor
At my age no one wants to see this
I just smile and walk around
No jockey shorts for me
Mine have zebras or parrots
Next it is the watch or the wallet
Keys that I should have left at home
Cute young girl says, "Sir!"
She's interested? No, she lets
the old man cut in front of her
But there are benefits getting older
You blame misplacing your keys on age
Not the real reason stupidity
I get 10 percent off for tools
At the local Lowe's
Where were you when I could use tools?
Have you looked at the Senior meal?
A carrot a piece of celery
I can't see the main menu
My eyes have gone bad
My appetite hasn't got old
And those good looking women
Their brushing you because
the cute ones don't leave big tips
I am on to you but still give big tips
I don't look in the mirror anymore
Shower, shake off the dandruff
and fold whats left over the bald spots
Take my teeth out and brush them
and the wife says to put on clothing
Only time the Petticoat Dictator
Would even look if I was undressed
Is to tell me to put clothing back on
The Airport is still looking for
My wallet,my comb and my teeth
These and pain pills the benefits of growing old
Next year I don't have to take off my shoes
I'm going to fake em out and come barefoot
Wander around looking with my younger friends
Sue the airlines for losing my plastic
comb that springs out like a switchblade