To the reader....the poem I share with you today is very close to my heart....as well as being a subject that can be difficult to talk about....it is close to my heart because I lived it....it deals with suicide...sadly...one out of every five people with bipolar disorder...Will commit suicide....those are unacceptable numbers....it is my hope to bring some comfort to those who have lost someone they love through suicide....and fervently hope that it will help even one person to hold on....and lastly...to make it understood that suicide is not a selfish act...to be selfish you must be rational...and when that veil of darkness falls over your mind....you are not rational....therefore you are not capable of being selfish....thank you for reading...
Survivor
The night cold
My mind swirls
As the wind
that howls outside my window
A snap
As loud in my mind
As a snow laden branch
Too heavy to bear it's own weight
Rationality
Has left me now
Leaving me feeling
So very alone
The house
Still and silent
A stark contradiction
To the storm in my head
My thoughts chaotic
Unable to reign them in
I am scattered
I have lost my way
My soul
So very weary
My spirit
Broken and shattered
I long to leave
This world behind
Believing that anything
Better awaits me
Whatever I find
In that beyond
I am convinced is
Nothing short of peace
I have no thoughts of family
Remembrance of the love
Around me
No longer in sight
My body
Is so tired
Feeling old
Beyond my years
I feel
No fear
The end I await
Is welcome
I take that
Fatal and lethal step
And await the veil of darkness
To fall over me
I am calm
the time is near
No more chaos
In my mind
My thoughts begin to fade
My mind becomes cloudy
I feel I float
Weightless and free
Somewhere far away
A voice
Pierces my
Welcome darkness
The voice
Determined
To deny me
My grave
Still I fight
My mind pleads
Please let me go
I am ready
It is not
To be today
Behind that voice
My friend fights for my life
He won't
Let me go
He says it's
Not my time
My friend
Interrupting
What I believe to be
My only hope
Slowly the fog and darkness
Lift from my mind
Even as I struggle
To hold it
A doctor's voice
Asking me why
I am so very weary
Is all I can say
Weeks pass by
Much talking done
My mind comes into focus
I am grateful
Grateful to
That voice
To my friend
Who became my saviour
He fought as hard
To keep me here
As I was fighting
To leave
He saved many
Things that night
My future and
My family
Peace can be
Found here
Be still
Reach out
Tomorrow
The sun will rise
Bringing with it
Eternal hope
Today I live
I found my peace
I am proud to be
A survivor
