A professor of difficult sums

Leading a simple and useful life

Till he met Big Bertha from Walsall

And took her to be his wife.

It was a difficult sums convention

On the logistics of long haul

And the whole lot had been invited

To a dinner down at Civic hall.

The cabaret was all in wresting

Big Bertha the starring bout

And they met purely by fate

When her opponent threw her out

To land squarely on our hero,

Crushing him consciouslessness to the floor

And he reviving in her arms 

Fell in love with what he saw,

A striking figure of a woman

In her purple and puce leotard

The emotion was also mutual

As she fell for him equally hard.

Now he's the second in her corner

And she's champion of north west

And he works at difficult sums

Two hours a week at best.

Their story's been made into a musical

With planned epic for the big screen

With Big Bertha and her professor

Idolized wherever they're seen.

They've had sarnies at the palace

Cos the queen is a wrestling fan

Fascinated by the story of how

Big Bertha fell for her man

It's a story of the wrestling code

Of that there's little doubt

Of three falls, two submissions

Or instead a single knockout.

Now they live a life of pleasure 

Taking everything as it comes

And for a little relaxation

He's teaching her difficult sums.

Between rounds she sits in her corner

A look of ecstasy on her face

Contemplating quadratic equations

On the nature of time and space.