I may have been six
My Father's only job,driving a coal truck
When the coal industry died
He kept the ten ton coal truck
That was the Irish family transportation
Our family car smelled of coal
Dad drunk would put me on his lap
Mom would be scared hysterically
Dad would tell her, "I'm too drunk to drive!"
That much was mostly true
It was actually steering I did!
He shifted and braked laughing
There was, "Dead man's Hill!"
It dropped layer by layer a half mile
Sometimes we were actually airborne
I held on for dear life Sister excited
She as yet not knowing fear
Basically I was holding on for dear life
From that time on I was frightened of driving
The next time I drove I was nineteen
I had joined the Air force emergency room
Outside the gate a truck of hayride kids
Were high on the hay when a speeding car
Rear ended the truck sending kids all over the highway
Every available Ambulance driver was sent to the scene
Several were killed many were maimed
My CEO said grab the nearest ambulance
"I don't have a license!" It's the Air force
"You don't need one son--get there!"
The last ambulance was a 16 shift off road Hummer
At one point I actually had it in third gear
Siren blaring cars were getting out of my way
Then they were following a slow moving parade
Last to arrive I took the less injured on return
I raced at 20 miles and hour with 14 injured
Nurses treating the wounded in the back
Beside me sat a farm boy with a broken arm
He was talking me through the shifts
Later I was given a reprimand for having a civilian
In the front seat beside me not authorized
I often have battles with those of authority.
The hayride wreck was on it National News
Five of the hayride kids were killed
Reprimanded and given a citation for my actions
Released at 21 from the service I still had no license
Four years later I was driving a Greyhound semi-cruiser
I was hired as a mechanic and cleaned buses
I needed the job they assumed I had a driver license
I took my drivers test with a car with no second gear
It was becoming quite easy I paralleled parked on a hill
The instructor passed me amazed I could do it
He meant to do it back at the station
The first plane I flew was a jet plane
A two seat trainer jet in the Air Force
This is when I found out I suffer vertigo
It's another story for another time if someone asks
I freak out on the tee cup ride at Disneyland
It reminds me of steering the truck downhill