Sorrow and Search

Somebody may envy of someone living overseas.

There countries in a life is really a tragedy for me. 

Where should I belong?

I’d look far in the morning,

brood long in evening,

wonder under autumn moon,

ponder among the flowers in spring. 

When I was young,

I embarked on the revolutionary road, 

to fight for peoples’ well being.

Soon I discovered that I was working

as a small pawn for a big mobster 

who was cheating and evildoing.

The mobster attempted to be a new emperor.

They killed my father, planned to kill me later;

therefore I was forced to become a deserter.

I fled and tried but no one dared to accept me,

except seeking refugee with my relatives,

they were originally elements of the enemy. 

The enemy was soon defeated disastrously,

as mountains collapsed rapidly and helplessly.

We followed them windingly, and all the way,      

finally retreated to the island named Taiwan.

One who once defects will be never trustworthy,

should be monitored all my life, ever since then.

Originally I worked as a scientific researcher,

could have some unconventional innovations.

Currently I was without a certificate but a case,

how could such a person be put on such a position?

Because I was a some sort of learner,

so they decided to assign me as a book herder.   

Thus I could collect and supply them,

some new kind of scientific reading matter.

Someone formerly worked as a book herder

later he became a very famous emperor.

Now I worked also as a book herder

all my life ranked as a fameless worker.

My family despised me with much shame,

colleagues despised me with rather wonder. 

In order to avoid some new neighbors

often coming to drive us and insult us,

moreover to evade the former masters

some day may come to slaughter us,

I encouraged my son to study abroad,

so we could root later in a new world.

It is hard to judge a good fortune from a bad luck.

If I could manage to stay in my old country,

I probably might become a man of authority,

with secret nest and safe, personal guard and sentry.

I might direct by my chin, order through nose,

live as a living divinity with majesty and luxury.

But I saw the horrible purge rising repeatedly. 

The bloody wind and rain were more scary.

I left there, embarked on a lower level career,

however, could keep my life and live safely.

For all my sadness, contrarily l felt happy.  

For all my bad luck, reversely I felt lucky.