I figured that title would attract ladies
I drive my own car
Still have my own teeth
A couple with gold fillings
So far do not use a walker
And I love children below the age of forty
When I was a young boy
I would look in the mirror
and I would think I am handsome
Why do girls not like me?
Ok, I wore the same clothing everyday
But Mom stayed up until three in the morning
Seeing I had clean clothing and vasoline on my hair
I had allot of hair even before Elvis
But girls would say he lives in that dump
His dad is the neighborhood drunk
I drank ice water that I had to break down with a pick
They would say he is lazy
See his windows are all boarded up
The ten ton truck in his yard a wreck
That was our only transportation
Eat your heart out girls I have two cars and a truck
My home is an envy of the neighborhood
And after picking wild black berries
and selling garden seed door to door
I worked at the largest Aircraft builder in the world
I worked at the largest bus company and had men under me
YOu called me the dumb kid
I went to college--so I didn't stay
I had to work for a living and start a family
You know that curly haired guy you married
I saw him the other day and he doesn't have hair
The only problem is it took so long to be a stud
That I have been married 52 years to a girl who liked me
All good things have to end
I have been having so much fun with this
But I went to throw out my chest
and my belly bounced on the floor
I have to go get an advil and take a nap
Lets see I forget which direction the bed is
It is really hard at this age being a stud
Did I mention I have perfect hearing without a aid
I haven't let her in on this yet
And she is hollaring for me to do something,
"Sorry dear, I was putting in my hearing aid."
"It is right next to your teeth, dummy!"