I have had this idea for some time
To solve the overcrowded condition of prisons
to have room for less violent offenders
Actually treat them as they treat others
The way we do it now
We take away weapons
Give prisoners weights to lift
Free lodging, food and roomy mates
Separated by gangs and tattooers
I say we do it another way
Rid the prisons of body building weights
Open up the yard for gang fighting
Give each prisoner one large issued knife
Hint that whoever survives
Well be given drugs from that compensated
Watch up above with Machine guns
Each prisoner having a weapon
There are plenty of ways to kill each other
Cremate the losers in a box with their knife
Send the remains home to their home country
Most of these countries have fields where they bury
each other in the wars of senseless crimes
The pluses, less prisoners to feed
More room to house more gang members
We then donate the weightlifting equipment
to local football teams saving taxpayers money
It's a win win for everyone!
You know those kids who want to know
What it feels like to kill someone.
They can rush at each other in the first lines
Bet you can't wait to see how I would handle
giving illegals food stamps and tax free lodging
Did I mention I am running for President again
not Democrat or Republican Commonsense platform
I ran six years ago but they wanted a black President
No amount of tanning helped this Irish boy
I like the idea of making up laws
and not having to answer to anyone
I know you want a female President but
there is just so far I well go to be elected
But if it helps I well ask Kathy to be my running mate
Last election I got seven write in votes
Considering I won't stoop so low to vote for myself
I am striving for at least nine this coming election
To help my cause I was a pretty good basketball player
But I have two years to take golfing lessons and vacation planning
My teeth are bad so gum is out and I'll fake honesty
Oh, and I am inviting every drunk in Ireland to come to America
Free booze, a pass across the border, and Social Security
I am sure that you Spanish speaking won't mind going back home
I would by executive order give them Mexican Social Security
And how they would treat five million Americans rushing across their border
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