My man was comforting
He died of cancer
March 9Th, 2014
Two days before
My birthday
I called him
March 10Th, 2014
In the evening
Wondering why he didn't
Answer his phone
When it was probably
Quiet at his daughter's house
With March Madness on
Because he usually answers
His phone
Glad to have told him
I loved him
Couldn't wait to go home
To Pendleton Oregon as soon as
I possibly could to be his
Girl again
Wanting to comfort him
In his state of
Not walking so good
Anymore
Even with physical therapy
Being in severe pain
Most of the time
I just wanted to kiss his forehead
The way I did the last day
I saw him alive
Before all the chemo
Perhaps the radiation
Or even before the
Lady who thought she controlled
Him came into the picture
To decide I wasn't even
Good enough to be his caregiver
It was only jealousy
I'm sure
As she knew I was the
One relationship in his life
He was sorry didn't work out
Because he told her that
Then she told me to come over
Linda and I did
All I could do was
Touch his hand
Then kiss him goodbye
On the forehead
On the cheek
Not on the lips
Because of her
It was okay
She had it together
Never knew about
Our loving passion
In my big high-off-the-floor bed
For many nights
For many days
We happen to have off work
Together
Licensed Practical Nurse
Loving Licensed Practical Nurse
And visa versa
Two times the healing
Two times the fun
Blood pressure check
Against blood pressure check
He my patient
Me his nurse
On that velvet-eggplant-colored couch
Those days are gone
Although he's dead
No longer here in body
We still have a relationship
Because even in death
Some spirits will live
In my soul until I die too
Then who really knows
What will happen?
Again
In the living room
On the South Hill in Pendleton
With his big left hand
On the middle of my back
Holding me down from the "to do" lists
I always make
We'll sit there on that velvet couch
Where peace will come and my soul won't ache.
