John's poems of...LIFE - LIVING &LOVE...JDJ
1,766,285 poems read
trying my best to work through this pain
everyday, im trying my best to work through this pain:
sometimes im okay. then the next hour im breaking apart and feel so unstable and insane:
still i cant make sense of this:
being a family is all i have ever known and that is what i miss:
not only did my wife divorce me:
all my seven children dont communicate with each other easily and free:
and the way they shun one another and show disrespect and neglect for each other greatly troubles me:
some of my children want me to cut the ones who caused the trouble most:
i feel im belittled for wanting to with all my kids be close:
so im looked at as being weak and having no courage to punish and repremend:
some say im sending the wrong message by still communicating with them, and i should be real hard and direct and not play the game with them and pretend:
i know that the ones who have been cut unjustly , unfairly, ruthlessly so low:
just want me to serve justice and as the father lock them on and let them know:
i dont know what to say in my own defense., i am trying to keep peace and communicate the best that i can at least:
i am not proud at the ones who were so cruel mean and unkind and with there words they were so savage mean and unkind as a wild beast:
from my mother , i know she could never give up on us all:
she was with us all when we were good or bad upright or had a fall:
you never can give upon your children all:
it hurts greater when they are not all speaking or communicating with each other and showing disrespect and neglect and to say sorry they dont care year after year and they think its ok to hate and to get along they stall:
there is nothing that hurts more than when your own kids disrespect one another, are unfairly, unjustly , judgemental mean and cruel
for the ones who started the trouble and who have no remorse at all, they feel no guilt and think they make the rules:
im trying my best to work through the pain:
from this seperation and divorce from my wife of 36 years i am just not myself not the same:
im just trying my best to breathe and to myself i know this is all sinking me and i grieve:
i am far from my best, i feel so much less with the kids not communicating with there harshness towards one another and me its all hard to take in and believe:
i know everyone is looking at me as a weak dad and man:
i feel like a failure in my life as a father and weakly , broken and defeated i now stand:
the poems that i write of life, living and love, i dont even know if some of my family would ever care or understand:
my own family ,me they dont even understand;
im trying my best to work through this pain:
the ones in my own family who are kicking me when im down it affected me and i dont feel the same;
im afraid of getting angry and losing my temper and blowing up on them all:
because then there will be no more talk and all will fall:
im trying my best to work through this pain, my family is broken and never will be the same:
it dont matter to me if the sun is shining or if its pouring rain:
im trying my best to work through this pain:
nothing feels right, it all feels insane
i feel all that i have left is my poems that i write:
this is the only thing that gives me delight:
i can write what i feel . and i know so much more of the story is between the lines in disquise:
but all i write the world over to folks is no suprise:
emotions in us all humanly run deep:
it hurts when day after day, month after month year after year these hurt shattered feelings i have to keep:
everything happens for a reason:
what hits me hardest is all my money she has won:
i know my health is my wealth and i will continue to make progress on myself every day:
im just trying my best to work through this pain. and know that nothing really matters no more to me and in my defense i dont even know what more to say:
sometimes im okay:
and other times i am just trying my best to work through this pain and i feel insane, i dont have no more words to say. to myself im just thankful how my mother taught me how to pray:
17th of february 2015:
sometimes im okay. then the next hour im breaking apart and feel so unstable and insane:
still i cant make sense of this:
being a family is all i have ever known and that is what i miss:
not only did my wife divorce me:
all my seven children dont communicate with each other easily and free:
and the way they shun one another and show disrespect and neglect for each other greatly troubles me:
some of my children want me to cut the ones who caused the trouble most:
i feel im belittled for wanting to with all my kids be close:
so im looked at as being weak and having no courage to punish and repremend:
some say im sending the wrong message by still communicating with them, and i should be real hard and direct and not play the game with them and pretend:
i know that the ones who have been cut unjustly , unfairly, ruthlessly so low:
just want me to serve justice and as the father lock them on and let them know:
i dont know what to say in my own defense., i am trying to keep peace and communicate the best that i can at least:
i am not proud at the ones who were so cruel mean and unkind and with there words they were so savage mean and unkind as a wild beast:
from my mother , i know she could never give up on us all:
she was with us all when we were good or bad upright or had a fall:
you never can give upon your children all:
it hurts greater when they are not all speaking or communicating with each other and showing disrespect and neglect and to say sorry they dont care year after year and they think its ok to hate and to get along they stall:
there is nothing that hurts more than when your own kids disrespect one another, are unfairly, unjustly , judgemental mean and cruel
for the ones who started the trouble and who have no remorse at all, they feel no guilt and think they make the rules:
im trying my best to work through the pain:
from this seperation and divorce from my wife of 36 years i am just not myself not the same:
im just trying my best to breathe and to myself i know this is all sinking me and i grieve:
i am far from my best, i feel so much less with the kids not communicating with there harshness towards one another and me its all hard to take in and believe:
i know everyone is looking at me as a weak dad and man:
i feel like a failure in my life as a father and weakly , broken and defeated i now stand:
the poems that i write of life, living and love, i dont even know if some of my family would ever care or understand:
my own family ,me they dont even understand;
im trying my best to work through this pain:
the ones in my own family who are kicking me when im down it affected me and i dont feel the same;
im afraid of getting angry and losing my temper and blowing up on them all:
because then there will be no more talk and all will fall:
im trying my best to work through this pain, my family is broken and never will be the same:
it dont matter to me if the sun is shining or if its pouring rain:
im trying my best to work through this pain:
nothing feels right, it all feels insane
i feel all that i have left is my poems that i write:
this is the only thing that gives me delight:
i can write what i feel . and i know so much more of the story is between the lines in disquise:
but all i write the world over to folks is no suprise:
emotions in us all humanly run deep:
it hurts when day after day, month after month year after year these hurt shattered feelings i have to keep:
everything happens for a reason:
what hits me hardest is all my money she has won:
i know my health is my wealth and i will continue to make progress on myself every day:
im just trying my best to work through this pain. and know that nothing really matters no more to me and in my defense i dont even know what more to say:
sometimes im okay:
and other times i am just trying my best to work through this pain and i feel insane, i dont have no more words to say. to myself im just thankful how my mother taught me how to pray:
17th of february 2015:
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trying my best to work through this pain
trying my best to work through this pain