My birthday day By aldo kraas, www.PoetryPoem.com/poet11586 Unlock all Features - Upgrade to Poetry Prime
Today was my Birthday,
And I must confess
It was a disaster.
An absolute mess!
It was rife with misfortune,
And everything gray.
Nothing right ever happens
On my Birthday day.
Mom tried to surprise me,
So she fixed me a cake,
And she told me it took
Three whole hours to bake.
It was supposed to be fluffy,
And light as a whip.
It was supposed to be creamy
As porcupine dip.
It was supposed to be smooth,
And silky as brie,
This wonderful cake
She was making for me.
She'd added bananas,
And applesauce paste.
She said she was so very
Pleased with the taste.
Then she mixed in an
Apricot Ribbon or two,
Because it was different,
Exciting and new.
She tossed in a greasy, black,
Shriveled up prune,
And mixed it real good
With an oldsilver spoon.
She added some cherries,
She added some tea.
And then jalapenos,
About twenty-three.
Then she tossed in a hairball
From Whiskers, I think.
And one bag of marshmallows,
All painted pink.
Then she added an old
Pineapple Ball, and a bat,
And threw in some saucy
Green sprigs from her hat.
They whisked in some puddings,
Some flour, some sugar,
And I'm sure that my kid sister
Added a booger.
And then she turned on the oven
And baked it alive
At that cake baking temp
Of three-fifty five.
Now, Uncle Bob said that
It smelled just like joy.
The cake of perfection
For a strappin' young boy.
Dad nodded a lot,
But he never was heard.
He was watching TV
And did not say a word.
And Karen, she laughed
The way little kids do
When they do something evil
And mean it for you.
Mom sang Patsy Cline,
And Aunt Shirley did not.
She just sampled the frosting
Aunt Florence had brought.
And I minded my business
Outside and away
From the frizzle and frazzle
Of my own Birthday day.
When I heard a Ka-Boom!
And the whole kitchen shook,
Ol' Billy was yelling
Some gobbledygook.
Aunt Florence, and Aunt Shirley
Were covered in goo.
And then there was Mom,
Disheveled and blue.
There was goo on the ceiling,
There was goo on the floor,
There was goo on the apron
My Aunt Shirley wore.
There were pieces of cherries
All over the room,
Pineapple prunes all deftly
Scarred by the boom.
The windows were crackled,
And the oven was too.
And for Karen, this was simply
Too good to be true.
And I heard Mom laugh,
And Uncle Terry was shaking.
So, I guess they gave up
On the cake they were making.
Aunt Shirley went home
And the firemen came -
And Karen just laughed
As though it were a game.
Oh, I remember the day
Just like it was today,
That bludgering, crudgering
Day of a day!
A day without presents,
Or puddings, or sweets.
A day without parties,
Or marshmallow treats!
A day without candles,
Or ribbons, or balloons.
A day without rocket-ship
Riding baboons!
A day without barbecues,
And firework shows.
A day without french fries
And Barnicle Bows!
Today was my Birthday,
And it was a whopper!
A bludgering, crudgering,
Bobble-Eyed topper!
I guess I'm unlucky.
What is there to say.
Nothing good ever happens
On my own Birthday day...
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