'Twas the semi final

Coming to its end

Three all male finalists

Thus bucking previous trend.

 When told she was leaving

She'd stoically played her part

But deep down she was seething

And there was murder in her heart.

One great yell of Banzai

One contestant dead

Felled by a heavy frying pan

Smack across the head.

The first one down and

With her anger still unsated 

She hid inside the grounds 

And patiently waited,

Vowed to herself

She wouldn't budge 

Until she'd killed

At least one judge.

The bearded bloke 

For a start

He'd been sarky about

Her bakewel tart:

Had a soggy bottom 

The bastard had said

Well he didn't laugh then

As she stabbed him dead.

The very thought 

Making her merry

She planned the demise

Of Mary Berry.

She laughed so much

At her planned joke

She went and had

A fatal stroke.

They covered the deaths

With a bunch of lies

And continued on

To present the prize.

For it's the baking that matters

And the tension is so thrilling

And it's not so very often

After all, it ends up in a killing

Oh it's full of verve and passion

You  can sense the tempers rise

As they all scheme and vie for

The Bake Off First prize.