Section 69 (Performance Version
The army ran on regulations
Obey them and you'd be fine
But beware of that ubiquitous
Queens Regs Section 69.
Devised for situations
Where no others would fit
It took daring luck and skill
To wriggle out from under it
If they wanted to get you
And couldn't find a way
Section 69
Was brought into play
Conduct Detrimental
Which was never defined
Conduct Unbecoming
All under Section 69
A face that didn't fit
A body deemed too tall
It didn't really matter
69 covered all
Two left feet
A big hairy nose
Sticky out big ears
Yes it covered all those
Every single squaddie
At sometime would meet
That fanatic disciplinarian
With his blank charge sheet.
The only defence really
Was to outrageously lie
if the CO was in good mood
It might just get you by.
So many situations
That were hard to define
But in the end there was always
Good old Section 69.
Catch 22 was fiction
Appealing to a humour like mine
But there was nothing very funny
About nasty old Section 69.
