Maddog's Poetry

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Told I’m the kid

The kid that my mom gave birth to

Placing me the baby of two older siblings

Being the baby and having autism

Gave my family the perfect scapegoat

 

Being told I’m not responsible the failures of my parents

I’m not responsible for them

Being told they are the adults and I’m the kid

If only they knew the reality

 

The reality of I haven’t been the kid since for about a decade

Before I was ten being held to maturity level and expectations of an adult

Yelled at if I did anything that a kid would do

Cooking meals and accountable to get where I needed to be on my own

When things don’t work out between my parents

When warnings come from the bills and the mortgage

Even when the smallest things don’t work out

I get yelled at

 

Blocking out the childhood

That I had

Allowing myself to remember when I hung out with my neighbor

The only time I ever got to act close to being a kid

Scared to look at pictures

Unsure not wanting to know what happened

To the kid that caused me to be who I am today

The kid that acts happy and everything else

But under the dozens on walls built up

Is a kid that no one would recognize

A kid that is anxious, depressed, and out of control

A kid that struggles to get through each day

A kid that has evil thoughts when driving by cliffs

So sacred

Not knowing what to do

The walls being destroyed each day

Sacred for what will happen when they all tumble down

 

 

 




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told im kid