meloostraightfromhertilt-a-world

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All Tarted Up

Don't Tread On Me.

why We celebrate the losers

Home, Ghuey, Sweet Home

what makes a monster (sympathy for the monster)



I Long For Stars

If This Is Any Art For Which You Care

All Beings Considered

Little Water Bug ( learning the lesson of true pain)

Hope You Enjoyed The Eclipse While It Lasted

Written For My Father Who Isn't Here To Know

And Even Stars Die

Crowded Out

I Feel Fine(r)

Make (of) Me A Snow Angel

Used to Think I Could Fix Them.

Sometimes Love Comes With Electricity

Into The Swirling Sea Of White.

Max on the max

So You Do (May 10, 2010 written for June 1987)

Boy Restored

The Light Goes On In The Attic (WeAll Have Addictons)

Life's A Candle

Malla Batsick

(A Prayer of Intercession--Brief Joy)

Love A Cat

Cuba Libre

Fragile Shell Of Morning

Disappear

A Little Bit of Harlem in Your Life

Sometimes I Hear Him

And With Words I Let Them Go

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For The Loss Of A Ghost Like You


gone
almost
thirty-five years

you were the very first
though I thought
you'd be my last
how my young naivete informed my heart
back then

love can be a delicate pastry
that crumbles sometimes
how we had a rich custard-y love
adventurous and tasting of the always new
I was a delirious girl in a meadow of ponies
you gave me every reason to trust in you

until you made other plans
ones you chose not to share with me
you were planning your destiny
and thinking I would ride along

on the morning you left
to become someone you wouldn't be
our sandcastle love fell away into the sea
and with it the tide pulled me in
the sky literally blackened
with rain

my parents were divorcing
my siblings had moved away
my mother had a break-down
still you left me  alone
I never knew what alone-ness was
until the night I called
after an attempted attack on me...
you were out with someone else on a date
and didn't return until morning

you never knew that I knew
about your exploits
or the coincidental bad time
of the attack
I wish I could have those moments back

people change
when you least expect them to
when you need them to be the same
life seems to be so inconvenient
or have the timing of a fool

I wonder
was she enough for you
was she enough of a challenge
did you like the long chase
or being kept

why did you two do together
all the things we used to do
the things that made us, us
just us two

eventually I wronged you too
my actions were my embittered answer
to the question of a misplaced trust
the one I once placed in you

its only recently
the old trust came limping back to me
battered and bruised
why did I do this to myself
for you

so much of my time wasted
all for the pleasing of people
and begun in the past
for the loss of a ghost like you

I think of you sometimes
a fleeting thought
but one that feels cold
like a rough wind tugging at my hair

years later
you said you didn't want me to contact you
you proclaimed you didn't care
you always thought you had the cards
called the shots

this is the message
I'm sending out to the universe

you lost me
you're the ghost
in this worn out plot

(Yes, I know
ghosts haunt.)



legal copyright for this poem/work July 25th, 2017
4:21pm PST
and also for this author/writer Melissa A Howells
and also for this legally copyrighted site title
Meloo Straight From Her Tilt-a-World

revised July 27 2017 9:49am pst





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