(This is not about me: just trying to understand the hell of this illness.)
The diagnosis came
As a bit of a shock
I am starting on Alzheimer'
Slowly tickling clock.
Will I be watching in horror
From a near zombie state
As my body develops
Into a thing I would hate.
Unable to speak or
Express any thought,
Fly in spider's in a web
Pulled relentlessly taut.
Will it be a prison.
Will there still be a me.
Will I be mind trapped
Struggling to get free.
Or will the real me
The spirit and soul
Have been wiped out
As I lost all control
So in one way
Avoiding the mental hell
As my body became
Just a physical shell
Feeding and moving
But the real me is gone
Just a querulous nuisance
As this condition grinds on.
Will there be a kindness not,
Being aware, in not knowing,
As the me is erased
By this disease's growing.
Is this my future as
I try not to despair
Reduced to a hulk relying on
Loved ones providing my care.
So, pity them not me
As the process grinds on
For by that stage that me
May already be gone.