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“Stolen Memory“
 
 
He knew better
she was very
straight forward
almost business
like
when it came
to her delivery
she touched on
a few of the
high points
in their
year and a half
relationship
how it was
a great ride
but they had
both grown in
different directions,
he had driven
by her house
twice
already today
and was
contemplating
a third time
he just wanted
to see her
even from a
distance
the last three
weeks
after her
well delivered
closing argument
had left him
in a catatonic
state
a permeant fog
around his brain
but if he could
just see her
he knew that
would help him
get through this,
he got lost
in his thoughts
of her again
finding it odd
that the one’s
he seems to
dwell on
the most
are all so
simple
a card she
had given him
that day at work
after only a
week together
and it was
that look on her
face
when she handed it
to him
and gave him
a quick kiss
on the lips
he had never
felt
more in love
then at that
moment
in his life,
he pulls into
a 7-11
grabs a handful
of change
out of the
center console
walks up to
one of the
few remaining
working
pay phones
that he knew of
takes the phone
and wipes it
across the front
of his shirt
drops in some
quarters
and pauses
he knew
she wouldn’t
pick-up
if she knew
it was him
calling her
he had got
nothing but
voicemail
over the last
three weeks
of calls
at least he got
to hear her
voice
and in that
he got a small
amount of
relief,
he’ll just tell
her
his cell phone
was dead
and he wanted to
just check-up
on her
see how she was
doing
after the break-up
concerned for her
well being
a small lie
but big enough
so he can hide
behind it,
voicemail
straight to
voicemail
and she erased
her personal message
just an auto-mated
voice now,
he goes inside
buys a cola
Slurpee
and climbs back
into his car
that look
on her face
that amazing
look of love
the center piece
of that moment
with her
is someone else
getting that look?
That thought
tore through him
it gutted him
left him
hanging there
with his insides
exposed
like a freshly
butchered pig,
why did he
have to think
that thought
why,
did life feel
it had to
take this away
from him too
he felt like
his memory
was cheating
on him
with some other
guy,
he tries to
retrieve
a happier thought
any thought
but that look
on her face,
oh
how he had
cherished
that look
of hers
it was crushing
everything
he tried to
pull out
from his badly
beaten brain,
he had no
ideas
plans
no kind of
direction
to point his
life in
that didn’t include
her,
he got out
of his car
threw the large
cola Slurpee
away
taking only a
couple of token
sips
and as he
turned around
her powder blue
VW beetle
pulled up
five spaces over
his stomach dropped
as his heart
began dreaming of
the possibilities of
a reconciliation
she was half-way
to the door
when she noticed
him
all he got
was a nod
followed closely behind
with a
“hey”
but before he could
reply to her
he heard a loud
“Babe”
come from her car
causing her to
spin towards
her car
to face the
guy
that’s now hanging
out
her driver’s side
window
looking a bit like
a Coppertone ad
“Babe”
“Get me a Slurpee, ok”
“Cola”
He says
“Sure Babe”
she replies
“You’re the Best”
he gives her back
with a large
toothy smile
as he slides
back into the
passenger seat
killing any little
dreams
of getting back
together
with her,
he was still
standing there
when she walked
out
holding a large
cola Slurpee
him,
still unspoken
and slowly dying
while standing in
place
he watched
as she got in
to her car
and then
drove away
not even meriting
a second glance
from her
before she left,
he felt so
dirty
for loving her
embarrassed
and ashamed
for letting his
feelings
rule over his
life
if he could
only have kept
that one
look
that one
moment
to be able to
know
in his heart
that she
once loved
him,
but he couldn’t
he lost it
seven minutes ago
on a sticky
7-11 sidewalk
while chasing
the tail of a
dream
he’ll never
catch up to
again…
 
     Tom Allen…09-30-2017…
 
 
 


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`Stolen Memory`