The Changed Attitude (a true story)

     After my husband left for work, I stood staring at my disorganized house. It looked the same as yesterday morning, except a little worse. As I observed the condition of the house, I became more and more depressed. Many mornings in my seven years of marriage, I had gone through the same routine. Some how the resentment of being left alone, hit me hardest this particular morning.

     I took a look into our bed room. All I could notice were the covers in one big pile. The pillows were ruffled, dirty clothes cluttered the floor. Next I went into the kitchen, all I saw were dirty dishes, pots, and pans, I looked at the floor, it needed mopping and waxing again.

     As I glanced into the bath room, I almost decided not to enter. There were shoes, socks and other pieces of dirty clothing scattered about. There in the sink were the whiskers from hubby's fresh shaven face. Lids were off tooth paste, hair oil, and after shave lotion. With soap filled eyes, I tried to find the towel. Remembering I saw it on the living room couch, I found another one.

     There were cups and glasses and scattered news papers in the living room. Just yesterday I had the whole house neat and clean. This morning it looked like a disaster area.

     There were the same things to do over and over again and for what? Would he love me the same if I let the house go and read a book all day? Not being able to tolerate a dirty house I knew I could not let it go. I felt like an unpaid slave. Sometimes I felt all he cared about was his food and loving, always there waiting.

     Today I had laundry to do. I did not have an automatic washer or dryer. We were slowly buying some of the modern conveniences, but as yet we had longer to wait. There was a basket of ironing that needed to be done today.

     We had recently bought this run down house with five acres. We had pigs, chickens and sometimes a calf. We always had cats and dogs. Right at this moment they all were hungry at the same time. The rooster came on the back porch crowing. The hens gathered around waiting for their breakfast. After feeding them and sending them on their way, I knew I would have to scrub the porch.

     The pig was squealing, the cats meowing, the dogs barking. I knew the house had to wait, the animals had to be fed.

     By the time I had taken care of these chores, I only wanted to go back to bed, cover my head and stay there. I didn't drive nor own a car. The neighbors were scattered too far to walk to visit. The over whelming sense of lonliness and despair was smothering me.

     I thought of going out into the sun, and spend the day sun batheing. I knew the only sun I would have time for would be while hanging clothes and hoeing weeds from the garden. I thought of curling up with a book, taking a walk, or watching TV all day.

     None of this could be enjoyed today or any day. There was so much work to do, it would be supper time before finished.

     I thought to myself, "this is marriage,"why didn't someone tell me? They make it sound so romantic in the movies.

     I thought of people with children and how hard they had to work. We had dreamed and hoped for children, but in seven years we had not been able to conceive.I knew children meant more work, somehow I thought it would be worthwhile. Prehaps this was why my marriage was so hum-drum.

     I continued to sit there, making no effort to do the work, but wrote about it instead. Clean house and cook is all I ever do, I thought. When my husband comes home he watches TV, while I do the dishes. We don't communicate very often. At the end of the day I felt ready to explod, and thought it best I kept quite.

     When we did talk, I did nothing but complain. I really only half listened when he told me about his day at work. He was not interested in how my day went either.

     This morning I especially felt, I could stand this no longer. I just sat there in desperation. With surprise I found myself talking in prayer to the God I believed in and trusted in my younger life. As I prayed new channels of thought begin to emerge.

     Your husband knows you work hard. He knows you have problems and get lonely. He works hard too, for you. He can't afford to pay you extra money for working for him. He probably thinks you are ungrateful for his love and the material things he gives you.

     I begain feeling ashamed of the way I was thinking before. I prayed for strength and guidance as I asked the Lord's forgiveness. Deeper thoughts penetrated my heart and mind. Wisdom from above was showing me that the answer is in the attitude. A housewife must do it for love or there is no pleasure in what she does.

     Visions of the house were flashing through my mind. The covers in a pile on the bed had infuriated me earlier. Now I blushed as I remembered the love we shared. The dirty dishes in the sink, and on the table caused me to smile. I remembered the tasty food we enjoyed eating together. Those scattered shoes, dirty socks, and laundry suddenly took on new meaning. The bottles left without lids, the towel in the wrong place. All was because we lived and loved there. What if something happened to hubby, wouldn't I gladly clean the whiskers from the sink, and put lids back on, just to have him back. I thought of his hair and how I loved it, as I put the lid on the hair oil.

     As I washed dishes, I gave thanks for the food served in them. There had been hard times when there wasn't enough food to dirty many dishes. As I washed the clothes I gave thanks for them and for the water. I also gave thanks for the bath room as I cleaned there. As a child we never had a bath room, only a little building out back. We had a wash pan and bucket and tub bath behind the stove on Saturday night.

     I realized I had so much to be thankful for. I now had a different attitude about my life and it's purpose.

     To fill the gap I enrolled in a corrrespondence course to get my high school diploma. I went to night school three nights a week taking a typing course. My husband took me to school and waited down town. I started attending church and was elected secretary of a women's group. Later I was elected Sunday School Teacher for a class of small children.

     After completing the course in typing, I was asked to accept a part time job as receptionist for an optometrist. Later I found a full time job as clerk typist at a large factory. After twelve years of marriage and two years working at an exciting job, I resigned. This time to be full time house wife and mother to our wonderful surprise - a lovely baby son.

     I had learned to drive a car and got my permit after completing the education. My life has been full and my attitude was changed that day. The day I prayed in desperation over the monotonous boreing task of being a house wife.

     When my son started kindergarden, I did volunteer work. Five weeks during Christmas I worked at a large department store. There are exciting things to do, if we do it for love, even for a house wife.

     We later moved and no longer had the animals. We bought modern conviences to make the work easier. I had a larger house to keep clean, and each member of the family cooperated in cleaning.

     I still remember the lesson I learned and try to apply it in my everyday life. Yes, I still remember the day the Lord changed my attitude about being a housewife. I became grateful for the blessing and no longer find it boring or uninteresting.

Norma Duncan (years from 1964 - 1975)  I am now a grandmother of two wonderful little boys, and retired from a well known retail store.




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