I was inspired to write this poem one morning as I had set aside some time to talk to God. I was so desiring a close and personal experience with Him that particular day, but to my dismay He did not speak a word to me. Feeling rejected by God I wrote this poem about God and for Him:
Where are you at this hour of the morning? I have risen early just to meet with you. The time has come and gone and I'm still waiting. The hour of the morning anointing has already passed, and the time of devotion is no longer available. I have waited all morning for your lips to caress me, but not even a peck on the cheek. I have desired to hear your soothing voice, but I've been denied even a whisper. And I cry out, "Search me o God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts, see if there is any offensive way in me." What sin has drawn us apart like this? Father I have repented and nothing. I have rebuked the devil, and you have still not come. My prayers seem to bounce off the walls of my bedroom. And yet I know you hear me, every word. I know you see me, my every breath. You even have the hairs on my head numbered "O' Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise: you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely O' Lord." But, Father, where are you now when I desire you most? I have come in this time to give you the first fruits of my heart. But what should I do at a time like this? Should I worship you? Or pray to you? Or read your word? It all seems so meaningless at a time like this. Father the desire is gone, it came and went like a breath. The thought of meeting with you no longer arouses my desire. All I have now are my feelings to comfort me, to sit and wonder why. Is it me, is it something I did? Maybe if I open the Holy Bible you will speak to me there. Or sing "how great thou art", you will finally come. Yes that is it! Maybe if I can just do the right thing you will come. But that hope is gone now. I have done the good I know I am supposed to do and still, you seem so distant. Jesus, Father, when will you come and hold me in your loving arms of hope? When will you let the light of your face, the light of your countenance shine on me again? When will you rise again in my heart o' morning star? God I thank you that even though I don't feel your love, I know you are near. God you promised me in your word" Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." So I put my hope in you, and the truth of your word. Sometimes your words are all I have to cling to Father. Especially at a time like this. So, "I praise you that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Not only have you formed me o' God. But before I was born you knew me, and you still loved me. And even now God you know me. And still, you love me. You know who I am, and who I will be. You love me? As was once said so I will say also. "O' what a wretched man that I am". I look at myself and see a dirty man clothed in rags and wonder how you could even care. And though I don't understand, I don't care. You have loved me still, even more than life because you gave yours for me o' Son Of Man. And I will put my hope in that, the truth of your unconditional love. And let my frail understanding fall away. Less of me and more of you is my cry. I want to get lost in your beauty and your romance. As you take my hand and we dance to your heartbeat of love. And afterwards if you want to, you can sing love songs, and the psalms of your heart to me. You can tell me how you have always loved me, and waited your whole life just to dance, even one dance with me. So I say; "Abba, Father, come." I have opened my heart, and my arms. And I wait for you to take me into yours, and romance me, and even though the morning is gone, we have the whole evening.
