North Korea wants nuclear weapons?! Let them keep all they can catch!
I wish O.J. would marry my ex. I'd give them a knife set as a wedding present!
My God can beat up your god!
Does God believe in atheists?
If Rush Limbaugh's talents are on loan from God, then I'd suggest we take up a collection to pay off the loan!
Bad pick-up lines:
Hey baby, ever have two inches of throbbing manhood?
Hey baby, were you winking at me or was that just your lazy eye?
Wanna make some quick cash? I bet those guys over there that you are easy!
Can I borrow $5? I wanna buy you a drink.
Insults:
If brains were paper, you couldn't make a spit wad for an ant.
If brains were water, you couldn't make an amoeba damp.
You'd probably be married if you could just find someone into beastiality!
Your momma's so fat, her dress size is North America.
Your momma's so ugly she's rated NC-17.
Your momma's so fat, she fell down a hill and flattened the village at the bottom.
Your nose is so big, you smelled a rose and sucked it into your lung.
Your nose is so big, when you inhale, all birds flying in a 3-mile radius are suddenly pulled backwards.
Your nose is so big, you can use a 5-man tent for a handkerchief.
Your nose is so big, you turned your head and totalled a car.
WHAT PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT ME:
"Sound the alarm! It's escaped!" (Director of my former residence)
"What the hell are you doing in there?" (my mother)
"Stop staring at me, loser!" (Some chick at a bar)
"Stay away from that Dahmer kid. He's a bad influence!" (my father)
"Hey, I think there's a body moving in the spacecraft wreckage!" (some U.S. Army soldier)
