He's been listening to the news
All up to date about I-raq
His kit has been laid out
Sorted and ready to pack
The camel's on combat rations
So its mood is just a little mean
But it's a trim and fit and ready
Desert transport machine
He sleeps out in the garden
In an army surplus tent
It may be second hand but
Its money so well spent
It's all in cam colours
Insipid and quite bland
So to fit in with the others
In the hot desert sand
He's informed Buck Palace
And Tonee the Vee Pee
He's planned for the occasion
And kept some holidays free
Once the summons comes
That very same day
Lawrence of Neasden
Can be off on his way
To fight for Queen and Country
Old Tonee and Georgie Bush
He knows he's not heard back yet
His offer's been kept very hush
But come the day
Come the need
Lawrence and his camel
Will carry out the deed
And lo and behold
It shall come to pass
Lawrence and his Camel
Will save ol'Tonee's ass