Bill Kelly thought it wasn't possible and neither in truth did I
But I had made the cock up so I had at least to give it a try.
Those were three different girls all thinking we'd a date
That same day, same time, same pub: a bit too late
To try and rearrange, and as Bill Kelly said
Blow this mate and you are three times dead.
So I put one in the public, one in the room, one in the snug
Well aware all the time of Kelly and his daft grinning mug.
I'd been very lucky they hadn't all arrived there together.
The evening progressed, by dint of my charm and blether.
I'd slipped from room to room as cautiously as I was able
Spending a little time with the girl there at each table.
I could feel the tension building, very acutely aware
Now Titch and Paddy Doyle were also drinking there
And Bill had told on me, so every time I re -appeared
They yelled, clapped and somewhat loudly cheered
I nearly succeeded, but my luck at last ran bad
The most embarrassing time to date I'd ever had
Imagine me just sitting grinning and blushing there
With three separate pints running through my hair.
I sat there enduring their jeers and shouts
As those three girls together stormed out.
The moral of this story: if you have a duplicate date
You won't get any sympathy from any of your mates.
And you‘ll get no thanks trying to please all three.
Or trying to be so considerate just like me.
You just feel
A low down heel
There aint no moral .to this story, but a reasonable end
For one of those girls later became a very good friend
Though I did notice on any subsequent date
She never ever again arrived there late
She always picked me up and never let me know
Where she had decided we were going to go.