I have a little wooden leg
I'm going to call it Keith
It's made of solid plastic
With rubber underneath
I don't really need it though
As I have my own two feet
But I use it as an ornament
And it really looks quite neat
Standing there on my table
Wearing my old gym shoe
If I decide to keep him
I might buy him a new
If I can find a man who has
The other foot we can share
Both paying for a half
Of a brand new pair
One for Keith
And one for his
In his brand new one
I bet he'll look the biz
When I've had him long enough
I might take him with me to bed
Put him on my pillow
Just next to my head
Oh I love my little wooden leg
I shall keep .him to the end
And introduce him to
All of my best friends
And I really don't care
What they think
But I shall take Keith
To the pub for a drink
Love me love my leg
That's just the way it's got to be
He's got to be your friend
If you want to be a friend with me
I have a little wooden leg
I'm going to call it Keith
It's made of solid plastic
With rubber underneath
