Happened from the ages 16-17 years old
Written at 19 years old
Wanting it with that kind.
Is why not the same too.
You hurt me so bad i feel something else is within me that drives those away too.
Still standing there through the screaming laughter.
As i can be too sensitive to be a good judge of character except God guides me when i cry to think things are out of control.
What is it?
Can an angel tell me or will God send a guidance dream to me.
I know nobody will ever let me know because they know i will be really upset, hurt and in vigorous amounts of pain.
I still feel something i know your pain too as well on every day, but that particular day.
Still facing pain i feel like i am going forever and ever.
Am a losing all of you except if you were friends why try to change me, why let Satan get to you so badly in the first place is that you're so weak.
Have i lost you i know i have, but am i better off without you.
Do you still like me genuinely or are you just tagging along with me for the sake of not hurting me.
Well i can tell this because you're not very good at acting.
I know i can see the lies and that guilt allover your faces.
Except i whisper to my mind and say i remember another point in my life and i don't have to remember these.
So why not take the pictures yeah go out have fun binging on booze yeah be happy together and get burdened WITH SIN and flush your cash down the toilet.
Forget painting me.
I think i will be better and safer keeping me to me.
Forever as long as long as can be.
Except you were not that bad of friends except trying to manipulate me into something i am just not...
Still you think Drinking and making yourselves so ill all the time is not sinful...
Wasting money while poor people die from dehydration isn't sinful, yet you do not even care...
You get offered treatment to cool it down and you don't stay...
You give it up, while some others would give their lives to stop this...
God forgive you...
May He forgive you all for everything you done not just to me, but to everyone as it is Satan inside you telling you what to say and do.
God forgive you...