This took place in gentler times
As one of my age knows
When folks actually smoked at work
Before our Nanny State arose
That bird in the short short skirt
Leans over the copying machine
As I try to tear my eyes away
From sights not normally seen
There's a hush in the office
A normally cheerful place
Cos the boss has a cob on
You can see it in his face
And he has a cutting way
Can make anyone feel absurd
By just a twitch of one brow
And an aptly sarcastic word
Heavens she's back at that machine
I'm sure her skirt has risen higher
I forget my ciggie as I watch her
And I've set an ashtray on fire
The boss has cleared his throat
Heaven's I may be winning
Cos he's looking at me and the bird
And he's actually broadly grinning
I empty ash tray in my desk bin
Thinking life's really quite all right
Then I feel the boss's glance on me
I've gone and set my bin alight
And the bird in the short short skirt
Is with such undisguised glee
Still standing by that machine
And she's openly laughing at me
As I rush from the office
Carrying my smoking bin
Before it triggers any alarm
That calls the firemen in
I pass the short short skirted bird
Making a decision to change my life
I ask her out on my way out
And that's how I met my wife
We've been married forty years
Where did all that time go
And how I pulled such a bird
I suppose I'll never ever know
