Every time I think I know how I feel I'm provin wrong
Why can't I just understand how I feel without
Wanting to hurt myself after every revelation
I hate my self and all of my confusing emotions
All of my self doubting and disgust
I don't understand how with Joshua I knew exactly how I felt
And now I get confused so easily it's not even funny
I hate myself for everything I am and feel
For not being able to be the perfect mother or even one at all
For being everything horrible that people say and think
And nothing they wish I was
For being everything that I hate and nothing I wish I could be
For being everything I always said I'd never be
And for being nothing I said and wished I would be
I hate myself more with each passing moment that I'm alive
And every second I'm not dead
I hate everything that I represent
And everything I can't seem to get myself to be
I hate my life my emotions and every thing I think and feel
I don't know how to be normal or even just ok
I hate me and every thing I represent and feel and everything that I am