I did nothing wrong as far as I could see and yet he felt I did. So, you're right it is his fault and not mine. I have been the worst for putting things on myself and knowing differently but was made to feel this way for I had for a long time felt I was a non-entity to begin and didn't have any feelings or shouldn't have. This is the honest truth of what is happening with me now. I am glad there is support from the both of you and wordrider1 for what he said the other day as well. I know this is a personal problem and I should keep it to myself but somehow i wasn't able so I needed to share what was on my heart. I am happy you are feeling the way you do and know you are standing with me. In about four more days from now I should have 6000 pieces on my port that the Lord gave me. I am very thankful to Him for helping me to get this far. i thank you all for your support and enthusiasm to cheer me on. God bless and love you all, as I do love you too. cubby