Thank you Kris for your feedback. You are 100 percent correct and I understand exactly what you're saying. There's nothing worse in this world than losing a child. Your mother lost seven children and I lost two -- and the pain is unbearable. I gave into that pain when my son Stevie died 11 years ago-- I was miserable and it affected everyone in my family. I am 85 years old and I cannot hurt the family I love because they feel my pain. So I smile when I feel like crying and they feel better because of it. So I get very little sleep at night and I spend most of my days and nights writing (writing is my medicine) and communicating on the computer. My worst fear is becoming dependent upon others and that is why I do my best to take care of my health. If I fall apart, my whole world falls apart and I cause nothing but pain to everyone close to me. I cannot allow that to happen. May God bless you for caring. Love, Annette