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NEWS: Thursday, April 19, 2007 INTRO: Well, if you've come to this page... either you're looking for the person of whom shadowfiend speaks in his many poems about what happened that day, or you've taken a liking to my work and you want to know how my mind works. I honestly don't have a lot to tell you... I hope that my writing inspires you to be a better person, or to find the questions that need to be asked to get on your way. I'm one of the most honest and straight forward people that I know. I tell it like it is. If you have any questions, or want to know specifically what drives me to write certain poems, please write me at leanne120miller@hotmail.com. I look forward to getting to know you and will do my best to keep you updated. Peace. Journal Entry I (04/19/07) Today is a good day, not that I really have bad days... just interesting ones. I recently reunited with the man who lit my bedroom on fire while in a drug induced psychosis. He thought that people were trying to kill him, me, my family and somehow, lighting a fire was the only way he could think to save us. (I never said he was thinking clearly) I wasn't there when it happened, but I somehow felt responsible. I spent a lot of years blaming myself and am now finally at a point where I have no emotional attachment to the event... In fact I have spent huge amounts of time with the person who was responsible and have felt no animosity what so ever. I'm not sure why this is how I chose to start this journal, probably because it's in the fore front of my mind and I just finished writing a couple of poems that have everything to do with that situation. Anyways, I want to get to know you and I figure this is a good way to start. Take care of yourself, until tomorrow, be safe. Journal entry II (04/20/07) Last night I spent the night with the man I spoke of earlier. We had conversations that I couldn't even repeat if I wanted to. Life lessons are hard learned and I'm well on my way. I'm trying to collect as much information as possible, so that I'm ready to teach when it's time. Not a lot to say here, just sitting back drinking a beer. Come back soon, I'll keep you updated. Journal Entry III (04/21/07) I spent a good portion of today lost in shadowfiends poetry. I've been sucked in and I'm not even half way through. If you have a moment please stop by his site and decide how you can support his movement. For if I the person that I am to him can be inspired to be included, I believe there must be something there. Journal Entry IIII (04/23/07) It's been a long two weeks. Emotions running high, confusion suffocating me and decisions based in the moment. I guess the benefit from all this was that I was able to write a few pieces. I keep trying to sit down, now that I've stopped spinning, but nothing comes to me. I didn't write anything for three years... Who knows when or where the next inspiration will come from. I hope you come back often as I will try and keep you as updated as possible. For now enjoy yourself for this moment and realize that it's all you have. Journal Entry V: (04/28/07) Well, it's now been two days since I turned 27... I think this was the most apprehensive I've been about getting older. I went out last night with the girls and everyone got drunk but me. In the cab on the way home after we stopped to drop the two other girls off the cabbie invited me to his place... Why do weird guys always try to pick me up? Don't get me wrong, I was flattered. It's just weird. Older men seem to have a thing for me. I guess I'm not any better, seeing as I have a thing for a gay man, mind you, we have history from before he outed himself, but still I don't understand. I make myself available to men who aren't interested and the men who are interested in me don't seem to make the cut. Maybe I'm too picky, I don't know. I never really meant to talk about the things I did today, but here they are posted on my news page. I hope you do come back often to find out more about me. Have a great weekend. Friday, June 15, 2007 Man am I ever glad it's the weekend. Time to let loose and enjoy not having any responsibility. I hope that all of you who have stopped by have enjoyed what you've discovered. Thank you for the wonderful feedback. Right now I have to admit that I'm stuck in analysis and academic writing. Even though I've sat down several times to write, my mind goes blank. Maybe it'll be another three years before I write anymore, I hope not... Wednesday, May 9, 2007 I thought I should include the fact that I'm currently in a very demanding University English course and have found that I don't have a lot of time for anything else... Please come back often, as my mind thinks in riddles and rhymes and when I get a chance to put them on paper I do. Until then, bare with me
ABOUT: Hello, I'm a 30 year old female. I've been writing poetry since I was 16. Most of the poems come from a time when I was addicted to drugs. I have written since then, just not as often. Every time I felt the need to express myself, I put it down on paper. These poems have spent several years in a binder, not a lot of people have had the opportunity to read them. I remember one time, my mother coming to me in tears after discovering my work and reading it. She suggested that I show it to my english teacher, I didn't see the point. A friend of mine is on this site and I decided that I would try it out. I can't promise that I'll keep up with it, but it's a start. I spend most of my time working, or socializing with a handful of carefully chosen friends. I guess I just realized that I haven't written a lot of new stuff, because I no longer open myself up to the kind of emotion that it is derived from. Maybe someday I'll get over this writers block, maybe not. Maybe what I needed to write is written.
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