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Up The Wall...


Yes you've guessed it; I'm up the wall again!
Cos this spinal disc of mine is giving me such pain!
The thing is squashed, and my sciatica's a mess!
But to look at me, you'd never really guess!
So here I am, lying in bed once more,
Cos me sciatica's bad, and it gives me what-for!

Me leg's wont work! And me bum's all sore,
I really wish I could walk through the door!
Into the living room, and pull out the stops!
Christmas is coming, I've gotta get to the shops!
But when me legs wont work, and the pain's this bad,
It messes me life up, and makes me feel sad!

Cos I cant spend money while stuck in bed!
But I can't get up, it has to be said!
Cos the pain, I really have to say...
Knocks me off my feet, for more than a day!
Cos when I try to move, oh this pain in my bum,
Runs all down me legs, oh my life aint much fun!

And the reason me bum is in such pain!
Is cos the nerve's all squashed, and driving me insane!
And you know, I aint been up for even a wee!
It's a good job I've only just had me tea!!
But now I know I will need the loo!
Only for a wee, and not for a..ooooh!

I dare not say it, cost hats really bad!
But the way I'm feeling, I was tempted: a tad!
But I refrained, oh I did, you see that!
And that's cos I'm a polite little cat!
Cat's in me name, see, it starts with a C,
And then the ‘at', add it together, that's me!

So I am sitting so weird, yeah, well so would you!
And you'd lean the ‘wiggle, wiggle' just like me too!
You see, you have to wiggle one bum, then the other,
To enable you to move, without screaming for your mother!!
But scream I do, and my poor Rich, poor lad!
Comes running to see why I'm screaming so bad!

Good job we've a bungalow, and no stairs,
Cos that lad would age, and that'd be sad!
So I'm sitting here typing a poem again!
Talking about me poor bum and leg pain!
It's driving me crazy, oh yes sireee!
Cos no matter what, I've got to sit on it you see!

A bum has 2 uses; this I have to add is true...
One is for sitting on; the other's to be guessed by you!

And as Basil Brush would say...
‘Bum, bum!!'








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