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 One Life's Pilgrimage

MY MOM'S GREATEST GIFT TO ME



We knew Mom had ovarian cancer
metastasized throughout.
She was 84 and still sharp as a tack.  
She was blessed with no suffering.
A miracle, of sorts.

Mom only took one pain pill
during the 4 months
she was quietly ill.

She never complained, not even once.
No tears, no fear, peaceful and thankful
for all I would do.

A total joy to take care of.

How I was blessed to have a whole year with her.
We healed all the Mommy/Daughter stuff.
 
They don't make many women like Mom anymore,
stalwart, dignified, and happy to endure.

Here's what happened two days
before her peaceful passing in my home:

We were with her, my daughter,
grandkids, and I, preparing her for bed
when she looked up to the ceiling and said

"Why is there a hole in my ceiling, and who are all these people coming through."

That was Wednesday.

The next day, Thursday eve,
I was prompted to ask her
what her dream meal would be.
I then ran to the store, bought the fish
and prepared her desired dish.

My friend brought over a bunch of movies
for a dinner/movie treat.  
A girls night, cozy and carefree.

My mom picked Gone With the Wind.

She sat up, as cheery as could be, ate all her dinner.  
and finished the movie at 11:00PM.  

She looked like the picture of health.

I was prompted to kneel at her feet
as we shared a red wine treat.

I toasted her and thanked her for being a great mom,
and chirped memories of her efforts I adored
like her famous spaghetti and lobster sauce
prepared as my chosen meal on my birthdays,
and the clothes she would lovingly sew,
to name but a few.

We laughed, loved, and reminisced.
I made sure she knew in my heart
she would always abide.

And as I prepared her for bed,
I sat her before me and was prompted to say:

"Mom, you don't have to worry about me,
I'll be fine when you are gone."

For the first time in my life,
I watched my staunch, German mom weep
as she blurted so very clearly:

"But I do worry about you.
You will be all alone."

I said "No mom, I have a lovely daughter, too."

I held my mom, as if she were a child,
and gave her permission
to reunite with her son and and my dad,
and, yes, we both felt very sad
as we sat there and quietly cried.

Neither of us knew that tomorrow
she would die.

Just writing this makes my eyes cry.

The next morning when I went in
to help her dress for breakfast,
there was mom, with the biggest, childlike smile
I had ever seen from her.  

She was glowing, her skin as pink
and beautiful as a newborn,
except for the wrinkles.  

But she couldn't talk.  
I asked her to squeeze my hand
once for Yes, and Twice for no,
but no response.  

She just kept looking around the room
smiling and glowing,
as if the room was filled with familiar people.  

There is no word to describe the elation
she was obviously feeling.

I swear this to be true!

I called the Hospice Center
and the nurse came over.  
By the time she arrived,
Mom seemed to have left
although she laid
there for another 18 hours
peacefully before passing
rasping with each breath.

And, of course, she waited for me
to take a quick nap to take her leave.
Kind to the end, she spared my feelings.
She was a very private person.
I awoke, and she was gone.

My daughter, who had been with us all day
called within minutes from her nearby home.

She said "Mom, is Grammy gone?
I said "Yes" within the last half hour.

And then she shared what happened in her sleep.
She dreamed that her Grammy visited.
She awoke, and felt her hand being held
And her snuggling little boy
sat up and said "Grammy is here."
Children, so dear, can see.

Nothing can convince my daughter
that her Grammy didn't drop in
to say Good Bye.

The look of sheer joy on mom's face that morning,
and the events just prior left me believing
with no reservations that there is more
when we pass than a loud slamming door.

And as much as I enjoy life,
both the joy and the strife,
what Mom taught me that day
gives me hope.

That one day, when my spirit is called home,
that there will be a hole in my ceiling
and my mom will drop in
to guide me to the other side.

Mom converted my Faith into Knowledge.

I share this because these true events
improved my enjoyment of life.
 
I pray they give another solace and hope, too.

And, if what Mom taught me is true,
there is more than a chance
that we will all be reunited in a better place.
 
There, I look forward to seeing or meeting you.

        Copyright February, 2004







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