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Awkward Women!!In the Kwiki, with me shopping trolley, Suddenly I'm bashed with someone's brolly. ‘Oy,' I shout's, writhing in pain, Then the old girl turns…and does it again! ‘Cor blimey' I say's, to the girl in the isle, “That woman's a loony!” But the girl gives a smile. “Come on then, mam,” the girl shout's out, I shoots round the corner, to get me some trout. “Gis that fish there!” I say's to the fella, “Quick, here's that woman, with her umbrella.” Wrapped up neat, in me trolley, I legs it quick, away from Mrs brolley. Cadbury's fingers, what a sight, I'll just get two, and eat them t'night. Next me eggs, then me cheese, I slip's on milk, then I'm on me knees. Mrs brolley... comes round the corner, Belts a woman…before I could warn her. Off for me loo roll, and soapy suds, Carrot an' onion, turnip and spuds. Then down the isle, that woman again… Her and her brolley…are a ruddy pain. Gets to the sausage, burger and pies, All of a sudden, I hear a man's cries! “Hells bells, woman!” This man did roar, “You've bashed me ankles, and me calves are dead sore!” Out comes the brolley, she gives him a clobber, Security come, but nothin' will stop her! I gets to the till, away from it all, The manager shouts out, as he takes a fall. ‘Get that woman'; the shout goes out, Well I'm at the door, with me food and me trout! “Come back here!” Screams Mrs brolley, But I legs it out…me and me trolley. ‘Come back here!' The shoppers say, But me mother's a pain! They can lock her away! Lots of looks…from shoppers nearby, ‘You can't leave her here…' goes up the cry. Well now I shop in Asda, all on me own, I don't bring me mother, I leave her at home… (With her brolley)! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem |
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