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Awkward Women!!


In the Kwiki, with me shopping trolley,
Suddenly I'm bashed with someone's brolly.
‘Oy,' I shout's, writhing in pain,
Then the old girl turns…and does it again!

‘Cor blimey' I say's, to the girl in the isle,
“That woman's a loony!” But the girl gives a smile.
“Come on then, mam,”  the girl shout's out,
I shoots round the corner, to get me some trout.

“Gis that fish there!”  I say's to the fella,
“Quick, here's that woman, with her umbrella.”
Wrapped up neat, in me trolley,
I legs it quick, away from Mrs brolley.

Cadbury's fingers, what a sight,
I'll just get two, and eat them t'night.
Next me eggs, then me cheese,
I slip's on milk, then I'm on me knees.

Mrs brolley... comes round the corner,
Belts a woman…before I could warn her.
Off for me loo roll, and soapy suds,
Carrot an' onion, turnip and spuds.

Then down the isle, that woman again…
Her and her brolley…are a ruddy pain.
Gets to the sausage, burger and pies,
All of a sudden, I hear a man's cries!

“Hells bells, woman!” This man did roar,
“You've bashed me ankles, and me calves are dead sore!”
Out comes the brolley, she gives him a clobber,
Security come, but nothin' will stop her!

I gets to the till, away from it all,
The manager shouts out, as he takes a fall.
‘Get that woman'; the shout goes out,
Well I'm at the door, with me food and me trout!

“Come back here!” Screams Mrs brolley,
But I legs it out…me and me trolley.
‘Come back here!' The shoppers say,
But me mother's a pain! They can lock her away!

Lots of looks…from shoppers nearby,
‘You can't leave her here…' goes up the cry.
Well now I shop in Asda, all on me own,
I don't bring me mother, I leave her at home…

(With her brolley)!



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