THE HEART'S PURGATORY
The memory of you
visits me in moments
of lonely clarity –
the ones where solitude
catches me off guard;
where thoughts of spending
the rest of my days without you
come crashing in on me
crushing the breath
from my chest…
Disbelief is
my constant companion
and there are times when
I almost convince myself
this surely can't be anything
but a horrible dream.
Someone wake me, please…
So many nights now
I lie awake imagining
another outcome, practicing
the words I'd speak…
...but, you wouldn't hear them,
would you?
You only know me now
as the person you left behind long ago;
a distant stranger you really never knew…
Now I wander in a purgatory
of my own making.
I wanted you to ask me to come home…
...but I never said the words
and you only pushed me
further away.
Sadness marks the spot
where you once dwelt and
I have to stop visiting the
grave of our life together
and let my heart
rest in peace.
K. Tate Jacoby
copyright May 23, 2010
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