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Reality Check

Self pity

Someday

The Heart

My Ego

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Here I am defending my person,
Taking all you have to give it is no rehearsal.
What have I done to deserve this verbal attack,
To be judged by so call friends for the times that I've lacked.
We all make mistakes nobodies perfect,
I do not deserve this i demand some respect.
There has been times that I've tried and failed in the past,
This time I am ready and strong enough to last.
I have done many things wrong I will not deny that,
But now the change is in full swing no one can hold me back!
Not even those people who i once saw as friends,
Your hurtful opinions your friendship depends.
Depends on what I have or what I can give,
But another episode like this I chose not to relive.
Friendship's are about being loyal not fake,
It should be two sided its about give and take.
I am not who i was for the life that I crave,
Is not on your track I must venture on and be brave.
Firstly I'll stand and take all you wish to give,
But I know it will only help me draw the conclusion that I am beginning to live.
On no ones terms this time but those of my own,
And what you are reaping right now you will someday sow.
Your sitting there stunned your face in a gaze,
As my new founded self seizes to amaze.
You continue to try and break me with words so cold and hard,
Digging at my past and the things you know were sad.
Yet still you continue I see evil in your eye's,
Your not getting the reaction you want and so you begin to cry.
Throwing everything and anything so you can see some sign of weakness,
You can carry on darling but your opinions clueless.
Pointless, needless its quite sad and strange,
Why you would attempt to hurt a friend to watch their pain.
So what did you achieve? I know it wasn't what you wanted,
My soul is saved and no longer haunted.
I no longer care what you think cos' my changes have began,
I've finally found myself maybe you will never understand.
It's fair enough I guess I don't expect much more,
But right now its my time to change all I said to you was no.
It was a real big eye opener but something I needed to see,
And that's you for what you are but that's you it isn't me!
I am changing for the better I am putting up a fight,
I want to forget the wrongs in my life and put my future right.
I am on a different chapter now but your page is yet to turn,
I really hate to say this but you will someday learn.
Life is what you make it it's a challenge at its best,
You can suffer you can hurt just like all the rest.
But to want to break a person to want to see them cry,
To want to see some pain as you look them in the eye.
Answer me one question what have you to gain?
Is it really who you are have you no shame?
It really pains to say this but I have to walk away,
For the way you've always treated me and the things you chose to say.
But the sadess part of all is losing a friend,
And the realization that a friendship has to end!!!

Copyright 2008 Natalie Rawlings



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