July 30, 2013: Maureen and I saw four butterflies when we visited the cemetery today. We believe they visit us from Heaven and they never disappoint us. Miss you so much, Stevie.
Today I will wear silver butterfly earrings and two colorful butterfly
pins on my blouse. I will say (but not sing) "Happy Birthday to You."
I will not be able to hug you when I say the words -- but I will put my
arms around your tombstone.
It's 8 a.m. and, in an hour, your wife Maureen will be at my door and
we will take one of our ritual trips to the cemetery where you are buried.
Maureen is a good driver; almost as good as you were during all the
years that you owned the limo company which was called S&M Car Service (S&M
stood for Steven and Maureen).
It's a one-hour drive to the cemetery. A few minutes before we get there
Maureen will stop at the local florist's and I will buy flowers to decorate
your grave. At the graveside we will each search for a small stone to place
at the site, so you will remember that we were there.
We will talk to each other and to you. Maureen, who is a high school
teacher, will give you one of her usual lectures. She will complain that you
didn't care enough about the health of your heart, and this is the reason why
she and your two wonderful sons are left without a husband and father.
With my fingers I will trace each symbol and each letter of every word on
your tombstone: the Celtic cross, the Jewish star, the word Shalom -- your
birth date, the date of your death, and the words, "He will live forever in
I will kiss the stone and talk about some of my memories of you. You were
the boy who always protected your three younger brothers, as they were
growing up. They always came to you when they were in trouble. You were our
big, strong and handsome hero.
Then I will look up at the sky until my eye catches sight of the
heavenly butterfly that will flutter by. I know that this beautiful winged
creature, with guidance from God in Heaven, always hovers over your grave to
watch over you.
Maureen will tell you the latest news about your sons, Matt and Evan. She
will tell you that you should have been with us to celebrate special family
I will tell you a story about something you did to make me smile when you
were a little boy.
You see, in my heart
the little boy that was Stevie
will forever play a part.
Then the time will come for us to leave.
I will again look up at the sky, and ask,
"Dear God, please tell me why
my first-born son had to die?
I know he's in your care, God, this is true
and I know my Stevie will always depend on you.
May God again bless the dear soul that was, and always will be, my
precious son. Happy Birthday in Heaven, Steven Marc Wexler.
July 30, 2010