Forever In Winter

Winter
was your time.
For you
winter skating
was sublime.
Your slender ankles
and your frozen slender smile.
On a brief winter's day
with you
I longed to dawdle,
making angels too,
and
trudging through
long deep winter miles.
The mittens
that you knitted
never warmed my fingers.
The love
I gave
barely warmed your heart.
But I waddled after you
like your unclever little duck
brain-addled
and stupid love-struck.
We played winter games
indoors
outdoors
all the winter season long.
You let me admire you
from arm's length.
You said
in the cold I'd learn my strength.
Then you let me learn
all your favorite carols,
all your favorite songs.
Still
I cannot shed the mantle
the snowbank piles of memory
that were you.
I get sappy-stupid
and sentimental.
There is no cure
when I hear
or see
anything that
reminds me of you.
I guess
I must have
I could not help myself
the ugly little duck of a girl
that was me
and still in many ways
still is
and
will always be
in love
with the ghost of you...
though you, dear swan, are long through.
Dead now these four passing years.
And wouldn't you know it,
there've been so many tears...
You left me forever
in winter.

Copyright August 22 2010

MELOO

\Melissa A Howells

For Ann, my Mother. My middle name.

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