The reality of rejection
and the feeling
of being used...fought
for dominance of my mind
invading my peace...
I let it hurt me for awhile
but that was after I chose prayer...
I prayed the best for my administer
of these new memories....
and for some time
there was relief from my thoughts
but more faithful then this friend
my thoughts returned
more powerful
desiring to shut me down
longing to let my friend know
the her
that- I can't imagine she See's
in between the tears
and facing the truth of not
being wanted....
It was THE TRUTH of THE WORD
the reality of how wanted
I am by my GOD
that held my sanity...
that HE would give HIS SON
to die for me
yes and even this friend (foe)
aided restoration to the madness in my mind
as i pondered the pain
i felt
i cried from my heart
hoping that I never caused anyone to feel
-the used feeling of being thrown away-
Yet TRUTH is what is real
how long I rejected Jesus
how many times have I thrown away time
with God to be with someone else???
And so I return to pray
I ask You to forgive me...as i forgive
my offender...I ask that YOU help her
to see that her actions
are not pleasing to You
and that she would love Your children
not use them
and I ask that i would
continue to love without expecting to be loved in return