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 24. Ancient Dilemma
I was blessed
With the gift
Of another chance
Today
When I woke
From my dreams.

A smile flooded
My being
Before my brain
Could engage,
And feeling
Returning to my limbs
Stretched out
Like a cat
More than a
Human being,
The grin growing
Until exploding
From beneath
My rib cage
Came out
A rolling
Growling
Yawn,
Full bellied,
Full throttle,
A release
If the night's
Hold on me.

Oxygen surging
Through the
Arteries to
My brain
To engage
The voices
To begin the
Daily tirade
And the fullness
I just felt
Disappears into
A groan,
And a pouty face
That scrunches
Every muscle
As some deep
Childlike sound
Says,
“NOOooooooo.”

The ancient struggle
Between the joy of rising
And the voices…
I don't want to
Mediate these two.
Life's too short
Not to enjoy it,
And yet
Because there are
Others that
Would give anything
For the worst moment
In my life,
For the best moment
In theirs.

Knowing they are
Out there
Struggling makes
The defender
Protector
Advocate in me
Rise like the dawning
Sun,
Full of glory
Chasing away
The nightmares
Left behind
From the Dark
Night of the mind's
Worst fears
That are still
Some child's
Daily reality.

So I am torn…
As much as the ancient
Greeks and Romans,
Between the desire
To enjoy life,
And improve it
For those
Less fortunate
Than I.


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