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 25. Dear Rumi
Dear Rumi,

You are the closest
Kindred poet
To my own soul,
And so I call
Across time
And space,
To the heavens
Where you
Spend your days
With the inspiration
Of your soul
In the presence
Of my Beloved
Of Beloveds.

Usually one would
Petition some
Patron saint,
But my aching heart
Tells me that
You know what
It is like
To have the absence
Of a human
Muse to your
Soul,
And the ache
It leaves
When they are
Gone from you,
The darkness
And shroud
That gets pulled
Over the face
To turn the
World
Ashen grey
As if all joy
Had bled
Out of the
Colors,
And breath
Becomes labored,
Moving becomes
Excruciating,
Living,
Like mechanical
Motions…
Family, friends,
Communities,
Like ghosts
Floating about
Haunting you,
Rather than a comfort.

Rumi,
You of all people,
Know where my heart is
And why
At this very moment,
As when Shams
Disappeared without
A word
Or trace.
We poets feel things
Too deeply
I fear.

I have no love,
Only shadows
And ghosts,
Who periodically
Haunt me.
They take form
For a few
Hours,
And then are
Gone,
And all I am
Left with
Are fleeting
Memories.

How can anyone
Love me Rumi?
I feel too much for the
Whole world.
Any lover must
Share me
With all of humanity.
Who could share
That with me?
Who could share me
With the world,
Unless it was a shared
Dream?

How can I ask
The Divine for
Someone to be mine,
When they would
Have to share me
With the world?
It is such a selfish
Request Rumi,
Isn't it?

All my ghostly
Lovers share their
Hearts, hearths, & homes
With others,
And though
I may have
A portion in
Their hearts,
Never will
The other two
Of theirs,
Be mine.

I saw a home
In a vision.
First,
Long ago,
Which never came
To pass.
Second,
But weeks ago,
And my first thought
Was with whom
Was I going to share it
With…
I have not yet
Seen their face
Either in the future
Or present…
Rumi…
Beloved Rumi,
Beloved Shams…
Beloved Shehe…

Where is the human being?
Where is the one who will love me
As I am and share
This dream with me?

I call to thee
My Lover,
My Beloved,
My Partner…
My Equal…
For none now exist.

Others are
Currently too
Occupied.

If I am to
Understand you Beloved,
Then no matter
How much this
Hurts,
All is as it should be,
Though the ache
And tears that
Are now falling
From my face
Have run this
Course before.

Humans have
Never lasted
As Beloveds
As long as you
Have.
Rumi,
Shams…
Comfort me,
Hold me in the middle,
Kiss away my tears
Until I stop
Shaking with
These racking sobs,
Either from exhaustion,
Or because I have
Stopped feeling
Like I am going
To drown
In this unexpressed
Passion,
As I bat away
The memories
Of lovers
Like the buzzing
Of promises
Unfulfilled.

Rumi,
Can you
And Shams
Go to my Beloved
And beseech Him
For my Human Beloved?
Ask Her,
With tenderness
And poetry
Of the ages,
For me…
That I await,
My Lover,
Partner,
Beloved?

I know
Somewhere
Outside of this moment,
That I won't
Feel this sadness
Forever…
But so long as they
Are out there,
The hole in my heart,
Will long for them,
Calling them Home,
To the Hearth
Of my Soul.

Hoping for Peace,
Beyond all understanding,

Your Mythica


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