I walked out to
Center of campus
On National Coming Out Day,
To the grotesque images
Of dead fetuses,
And bloody
Mush… beside
Which young
Women's faces
Were contorted
Into visages
Of Hatred
For the perceived
Murderers
Walking about them,
There was no love
In their eyes
Only judgment,
Devoid of smiles,
That God once
Whispered
To them
As little girls
Before
They were
Taught
The hate
Boring
Out from them
Now.
So I began
The chant…
“I am the Love,
I want to see
In the world.”
I poorly scrawled
In pink
Words of love
And encouragement
To my GLBT
Brothers and sisters
And headed inside
For class,
Which the Divine
Saw fit to cancel.
Friend Samara
At my side,
A Straight Ally
To snap photos,
And be my
Advocate
When the chalk
Was consuming
Me,
We began
In the center
Of campus…
The crossroads.
Then the
Preacher Man
Showed up,
As if dead babies
Weren't enough.
He began shouting
And spouting,
Putting those
Verbal hooks
In passers by,
Reeling them
In little by little…
So I continued,
“I am the Love,
I want to see
In the world.”
I colored in the
Red of love
And passion…
Echoed by
Things
I wanted to ignore
Nearby.
“I am the Love,
I want to see
In the world.”
I colored in
Orange the color
Of fall and
Pumpkins
I wished were
Smiling
At what
I was doing.
Until my hands
Shook,
And the stubby
Nub of chalk
Could no longer
Color for
Some
Energy held
My hand and tongue.
I lost the words.
I picked up
My sign,
With free hugs
On one side,
And You Are Loved
On the other…
And went to
The circle
Where the Preacher Man
Was doing his thing
Arguing for why
Sin and those
Who didn't embrace
What he was saying
Were doomed
And damned
To hell.
I held up the sign
Back to him,
Circling out to
The gathered crowd,
And found
Applause for
Seeing the love
Jesus spoke of
In action,
I held out my
Arms
And we hugged.
The words returned.
“I am the Love,
I want to see
In the world.”
I could chalk again.
“I am the Love,
I want to see
In the world.”
Back to my Labor
Of love,
And the crowd
Swelled again,
Roaring loudly,
The abortionist
Lost in the din…
My scattered
Colors distracting
A few…
Pulling in those
Who hoped
For something different…
Until…
I lost the words,
Again.
Samara and friends
Rallied to the cause
Free hugs
Lifted high
As the crowd
Around Preacher
Man swelled
With antagonistic
Rhetoric
I took the sign
And entered
Again into
The sea of human
Beings, losing
Their humanity.
Some tried to hugs me
Preacher Man
Told me I was being rude,
As I hugged the man
He was arguing with…
And the crowd
Wanted more
To trap intellectually
Preacher Man
Than to
Be the love
I was hoping for…
I left the circle
In tears…
The words
Completely lost to me…
I went back
To the Mantra
To clean
From my heart
What was
Manifesting
As this
Negativity in the world,
Lived inside of me,
And Preacher Man
Was only my
Reflection.
“I love you.
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.”
I chalked
In blue like
The tears that
Flowed
Out of the sea
Of sadness in my
Heart.
My hand moved
With royal blue
Back and forth
While my eyes
Went blind
With the waters
Of my soul.
“I love you.
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.”
Then the Divine
Whispered to me
Sweetly,
Gently,
Because I was
So tender
And sore,
“Let connecting to me
Be greater,
Than the loss
And sadness…remember when
I was there with you?
The Joy?
And nothing
And no one
Could touch you?”
I nodded.
“You must let go
Of the sadness,
So we can be
together again.”
Then I understood
What the words meant,
“I love you.
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.”
The Divine
In me could be
Greater,
Than my hold
On my sadness…
The only thing
That was needed
Was for me
To let go.
God
Would do
The rest.
Nothing was lost.
It was an opportunity
To remember,
Losing anything
Was an illusion.
