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 49. Fragile Creature
I try not
To hate…
But I can't
Help this
One thing,
This weakness,
This Fragile
Creature
That I am…

I am loved
So what?
That does not
Buy the anti-biotics
And the $140
Needed to help
My lungs
Recover is not
An option
In America
For me.

I get sick
More often
Than the average
Bear,
And not quite
Enough to
Be helped
By the powers
That be
I go to the same
Clinic van as
The street people
Do.

I've been
Sick now
Two times
Out of the
Semester
Two weeks
And my
Ability to graduate
Hangs in
The balance.

So what
If I do
Graduate?
I am a
Fragile Creature
Who can barely
Take care
Of herself.

I can do
Chalk art
I can write
Poetry,
I can inspire
People.
All of which
Means nothing,
When trying
To care
Or provide
For myself.

Inspiration
For the penniless
Doesn't make
A living,
Unless you
Have no healthcare
Needs.

This…
Fragile creature
Is the wounded
Healer,
Angrily wearing
A crown of thorns
With bitter
Resentment
Not,
With the Dignity
And Grace
I am attributed,
But wanting
The pain
Of human fragility
To cease
And desist.

How can I
Lead anyone
Out their
Own darkness?

Yet my
Poetry and art
Have done
Just that
In spite of
Myself.

Yet here
I lay
In the dark
Of the basement
Fragile creature
That I am
Where two
Worlds collide
The one where
I am full of
Hope and wonder
And the other
Where I fight
Migraines,
And get sick
And wonder
Each time
I get sick
If I will be
Able
To withstand
The mundane
Consequences
Be it
Money
Grades
Or dying
Before I
Get the medicine
Too little
Too late.

I hate
That my hope
Is a
Fragile Creature,
Made of
Spun glass
And blue
Cotton candy
To be melted
Like glass
To be shattered
Either
To be cleaned
Washed,
Or swept
Away.

I feel
Like a paper
Doll,
To be blown
Away at any
Moment,
And instead
My Beloved
Sends me
The Sun,
To dry away
My inner tears
And restore
My hope
And the heat
Of love
And light
Somehow
Re-forge the
Broken shards
Into new
Steele,
The Alchemy
Of the Divine.

Whispers
That this too
Shall pass
And the
Future isn't
Written in
Stone,
But flows
Like water
Back to the
Source,
It can only
Be temporarily
Thwarted,
Diverted,
But the source
Is always
Calling
For the water
Of Life
To return to
Itself.

For one
More day
I have life
Reason
Purpose
Passion to reach
People I've
Yet to touch,
Regardless
Of the monetary
Consequences,
There still
May yet
Be some
Plan for me,
To reach
You,
Awaken
Some soul
I've yet
To meet,
As another
Young man
Tells me
How my party
Brought him
Out of the darkness,
And restored
His hope
Once more,
And mine
At the
Same time
As he told
Me.

Perhaps
Its somehow
Important
To tell you
Share with you
What a fragile
Creature I can
Be,
So that
Together
We won't
Be so alone,
When we
Are by ourselves
In the dark
Corners of
Our basements
Sick and in
The dark,
We can find
Hope
In each other.
In doing so
Finding the
Divine
Alchemical
Fire
In one
Another,
To find that
The Fragile Creature
Only to be the
Casing
To the tempered
Steele
Of our Souls.


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