T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Kate's snoring resonated loudly disturbing her handsome spouse,
She let out a curdling scream, it really gave me quite a fright,
She was only dreaming she got her Scottish Country dancing right
Yes ‘Twas a night before Christmas, it was silent in the bush,
Not even a cuckoo calling, to disturb the peaceful hush,
Little children in bed were sleeping, what would Santa bring,
In the heat, the sound of sleigh bells doesn't seem quite the thing,
Pulled by a pack of dingoes, was a fat man with his sack,
But the shearer wasn't Santa and it was a swaggy on his back,
Stopping for a tasty brew, then damper and hopefully brisket,
No home cooking for this poor Santa, just milk and a soggy biscuit,
Watching carols on the telly, and getting full on Christmas cheer,
Getting sentimental about his childhood, Bill wipes away a tear,
Kate's busy in the kitchen, preparing a spread fit for a queen,
Sneaking a quiet sherry or two, that the trifle should have seen,
Six white boomers pull the Aussie sledge, reindeer are not the kind,
Just imagine the view on that sleigh if you're facing the reindeer's behind
Skippy's mates are techno savvy, having the newest gadget knowhow
The GPS slowing their Christmas rush saying " Please, turn around now"
Flying south down over Darwin towards Nambour's CWA hall,
The dancers inside are intently listening to John's laconic call,
Here comes Santa's thoughtful gift that will make each dancer's night,
A special pair of dancing pumps that tells them what left from right
I asked Kate what she wanted for Christmas, a teddy was her reply,
Somehow she didn't appreciate the lingerie, I don't know the reason why,
Then out of the east came a familiar sound and I thought this will be beaut,
It was John shouting out a dance routine dressed in an outsize Santa suit,
May you get what you wish for, wrapped in love and dear affection,
May you find the joy in the giving, finding this special time for reflection,
You are an exceptional group of people, and this comes from my soul
From my "infamous dicky heart" , peace and goodwill to one and all,