I used to just go for it
Grab every bit
I made so many mistakes one thing i know is i will never stop making mistakes
There are posers and fakes
Yet this is me
Love me or hate me
I am clumsy
I am crazy
I got my own style so if i go to a weddin you may see a cross dress with feet sporting converse
Or i may wanna heel for the effective reverse
I am naive and sometimes a little silly when i don't think about things properly
I am a mess, but i bounce back i have epilepsy
I have depression on some days its insomnia or anxiety
I can't drive, i can't do many things its so frustrating when i want to do them things and so limited with my disability
So yeah i get frustrated, stressed and angry
I know what to do is to open the Quran and to read in the name thy Lord who created me from a single clot
I pray five times a day, voluntarily for repentance or for guidance and for counsel from my dear lord so i soon know my plot
I have aims and goals in my life i am aiming for
It isn't easy it is so hard and i am so unsure
Now i can't just go for it
I need to pray i need to be sure of each bit
Is this piece correct will it fit
I trust my Lord and i accept the tests of this life and accept everything
I can handle what he had given me if i couldn't no test on anything
I like to be tested its so hard and i repent for my mistakes of upsetting people when i get angry or frustrated or stressed
Its so hard getting depressed
Yet i ask myself all the time smile, smile, smile why don't you smile rather smile lines than the frown
If i were a queen I'd wear a crown
I am not i am a Muslim i love to wear the Hijaab
I love wearing the jilbaab
I love representing Muslim women and i am proud to be
I am proud of what people see
Is me
I am not perfect and i admit to this and yes i do want things, but sometimes you gotta let it go and accept things in this life
Like not everyone can be some body's wife
In the next life
You get the best of the best
Not having a husband could have been some body's test
Accept the critical people who will say bad things like they do to me
I gave in i should be treated correctly
Respectively
So i walked away
With nothing more to say
Now i wait patiently
I continue to ask my Lord for his guidance in what i will do in future as for now i volunteer
I help my family i will always be there for them no matter what will happen i will persevere
I am there for my friends
They are not the latest trends
They are here for life and i will keep them until the end
In my heart i hit send
People compare me
I am a dead bride to be
It means i been down and come back
That life i unpack
Now Asians are against me
They say you've been married now no more who will marry thee nobody
Yet i don't let them criticize me
Who do i let get to me nobody
My dad may he rest in peace his Wisdom will never persevere
He will always be near
God i do fear
I don't want to disappoint
I make a good point
I want him to be happy
To be ecstatic with me
People think coz i aint in uni
I am just another phony
Try having epilepsy
One that isn't even controlled with medication so who are they to say i couldn't get into uni
It was too tough
The hours too rough
My head in constant agony
Did you ever feel me
Did you ever see me
I will try and get as far as i can i gave up my old dream
Yet i didn't scream
I carried on living my life
Life is life
It will only go on until your time is up
You enjoy your tea to the final sip in the cup
I aint perfect so if you want to criticize
Go ahead make fun of my life and of my size
I took medical steroids yet do i need to justify what i eat or what i do
Can i not have a single chocolate without having to see evil critics with no lives even a dog has a better life than you
I can be funny
I can be fun i can be such a bunny
You're missing the good of me
I have a good heart which many fail to see
So it is your loss you sound like you have no life the way you're so obsessed with me
Where are you going
Nowhere i prefer to keep things unknowing
Especially if you are not someone i know personally
What are you my bodyguard or my life jacket what do you need to know about me currently
Leave me alone you're like the paps
I aint even famous, but i need to get away oh heaven help me i need to find maps
Even though i aint good at reading them
Bugging me from am to pm
Why
Tell me why your so obsessed with me it aint no word of a lie
It may be unintentional in some of you, but when your confronted its in your eyes and you can't deny
Just go away
Let me get on with me day
