If i could see her heart
If i could understand her reasoning's
I might forget all the hurt mine carries
from her assaults....
If i could enter her thoughts
would i find regrets
or would i read a similar script
does her mind torture with re-runs as well
does she reminisce past the present pain
to a pristine day when i loved her without these bars....
O how the years have stolen the truth
how our sins against each other
have rendered hate and envy
my heart is diseased
daily i am plagued with my own ugliness...
I cry - then i pray
but too often the coldness of my words
leave only a chill....
Ahhh but YOU LORD don't allow me
to dismiss her from my life
memories remain as hurtful as they are
i beg to be relieved from
this dungeon i feel i don't deserve....
yet still i remember how much YOU LOVE ME
and YOU LOVE HER and for a time
i find freedom from my sin to forgive....
But faithfully my memories return
o how i long to forgive
i punish myself daily for my failure to forgive....
i hate that i believe i love YOU MOST
yet i can't die to these poisoned chains
O Savior deliver me from this evil within
so that I might love my enemy
give me understanding Lord i plead
"Return my heart to love her Lord,as YOU do".
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