Poetic-Verses
'' I'm Now Playing Solo ''
I play a foursome every week with Harold, Brian and Rolf
I'm not convinced that they believe I play such brilliant golf,
when they question every shot I play it makes me feel so blue,
why would they suspect me why cause me such ado.
Everywhere my ball lands to them that is a riddle,
as conveniently for me it's always down the middle,
they'll then say they're sure it went into the trees,
I say it blew out because of the breeze.
They said one day we are not being crass,
but we all seen your ball go into deep grass,
then when we arrive at the scene ,
your ball has conveniently appeared on the green.
When we asked you how your ball got there,
you said my God well I declare,
it must have landed on something tough,
that's why it bounced straight out of the rough.
It then hit the biggest crow you've seen,
before it then it landed in between,
two great tits making love,
their actions gave my ball a shove .
As it pushed my ball towards the brush,
lo and behold out popped a thrush,
it hit the poor thing on the head,
my ball landed safe the birdies dead.
Another hole for you to win,
because you've landed at the pin,
we don't believe how you've done it,
but once again we know you've won it.
You really have this golf game mastered,
but we think you are a cheating bastard,
I said it isn't cheating my game is based on skill,
when I compete in any sport I go straight for the kill.
I try my best to play the game in the spirit that it's meant,
because I am so bloody good my mates think my games bent,
one day we played our game of golf in the burning sun,
they were really angry when I hit a hole in one.
They ask me how it happened when my ball went to the right,
I said it hit a magpie which varied my balls flight,
it hit a cable then a brick at that it hit a pole,
before you could say Tiger Woods it had landed in the hole.
I said to them I was that good just try to keep apace,
as I reached the third green I'd hit another ace,
they said it was impossible my ball was in the pond,
I said no it hit a duck they think they're being conned.
I don't think they believe me but I don't give a damn,
how dare they think when playing golf I'd try to work a scam,
my morals are a bit like me they're really strong and sturdy,
now on to the next hole I'm going to hit another birdie.
I hit my iron shot oh so hard they said where did it land,
they were sure I'd sliced it they said it's in the sand,
I told them mine was on the right theirs were on the left,
over this side on my own now that was pretty deft.
Once again my shot was good it hadn't went astray,
it had landed on the perfect spot well that is what I would say,
while they were searching I went on to hit an eagle,
they said another magpie I said no it hit a seagull.
They said that I was at it my tales they took some beating,
I told them I was far too good to be involved in cheating,
they said to me they'd had enough I'd now play on my own,
the only way they'd let me back was if I would atone.
I don't need to prove myself to them all I say adieu,
what's written on my scorecard is absolutely true,
my so called mates disowned me that was over zealous,
I can't help being so good I think they're all just jealous.
I said no way would I admit that I was doing wrong,
I would go on playing golf for that's where I belong,
it really is much easier now what they said was dross,
every hole I play now I hit an albatross.
They said they would report me to the R.S.P.C.A.,
saying I hit birdies every time I play,
they can stuff their foursomes and change their game to polo,
for I now go round in fifty five because,
' Im Now Playing Solo ''.
I'm not convinced that they believe I play such brilliant golf,
when they question every shot I play it makes me feel so blue,
why would they suspect me why cause me such ado.
Everywhere my ball lands to them that is a riddle,
as conveniently for me it's always down the middle,
they'll then say they're sure it went into the trees,
I say it blew out because of the breeze.
They said one day we are not being crass,
but we all seen your ball go into deep grass,
then when we arrive at the scene ,
your ball has conveniently appeared on the green.
When we asked you how your ball got there,
you said my God well I declare,
it must have landed on something tough,
that's why it bounced straight out of the rough.
It then hit the biggest crow you've seen,
before it then it landed in between,
two great tits making love,
their actions gave my ball a shove .
As it pushed my ball towards the brush,
lo and behold out popped a thrush,
it hit the poor thing on the head,
my ball landed safe the birdies dead.
Another hole for you to win,
because you've landed at the pin,
we don't believe how you've done it,
but once again we know you've won it.
You really have this golf game mastered,
but we think you are a cheating bastard,
I said it isn't cheating my game is based on skill,
when I compete in any sport I go straight for the kill.
I try my best to play the game in the spirit that it's meant,
because I am so bloody good my mates think my games bent,
one day we played our game of golf in the burning sun,
they were really angry when I hit a hole in one.
They ask me how it happened when my ball went to the right,
I said it hit a magpie which varied my balls flight,
it hit a cable then a brick at that it hit a pole,
before you could say Tiger Woods it had landed in the hole.
I said to them I was that good just try to keep apace,
as I reached the third green I'd hit another ace,
they said it was impossible my ball was in the pond,
I said no it hit a duck they think they're being conned.
I don't think they believe me but I don't give a damn,
how dare they think when playing golf I'd try to work a scam,
my morals are a bit like me they're really strong and sturdy,
now on to the next hole I'm going to hit another birdie.
I hit my iron shot oh so hard they said where did it land,
they were sure I'd sliced it they said it's in the sand,
I told them mine was on the right theirs were on the left,
over this side on my own now that was pretty deft.
Once again my shot was good it hadn't went astray,
it had landed on the perfect spot well that is what I would say,
while they were searching I went on to hit an eagle,
they said another magpie I said no it hit a seagull.
They said that I was at it my tales they took some beating,
I told them I was far too good to be involved in cheating,
they said to me they'd had enough I'd now play on my own,
the only way they'd let me back was if I would atone.
I don't need to prove myself to them all I say adieu,
what's written on my scorecard is absolutely true,
my so called mates disowned me that was over zealous,
I can't help being so good I think they're all just jealous.
I said no way would I admit that I was doing wrong,
I would go on playing golf for that's where I belong,
it really is much easier now what they said was dross,
every hole I play now I hit an albatross.
They said they would report me to the R.S.P.C.A.,
saying I hit birdies every time I play,
they can stuff their foursomes and change their game to polo,
for I now go round in fifty five because,
' Im Now Playing Solo ''.
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`` I`m Now Playing Solo ``
`` I`m Now Playing Solo ``
