THE ENDLESS DARKNESS OF THE NEVERMORE
{Based on a True Story}
PART TWO, "ALONE IN MY SOLITUDE"
Alone... Alone... Alone...
After all, I am the master of it ALL!
It is I that controls whether I live or die!
I opened the door to this darkness,
This P I T C H of black that has surrounded my miserable life
Where I witnessed the horrors
Seen, Done, Created, Plotted, and enjoyed every damn minute of it!
Here I sit, crying after wards
So hard I can't breathe
Not a damn sound could I make;
WAIT! W A I T ! I can't breathe, I can't get any air
OH MY GOD !!!! i can't breathe...
My head is burning, It feels like its going to explode...
H E L P M E !!! ... ... ... ...
I gathered myself up and ran like hell
Into my self made
PANIC ROOM...
Something has changed?
My Panic Room doesn't feel the same anymore.
I no longer feel my soul caught between two shades of darkness
I always called it the endless darkness of the nevermore.
Nevermore?
Never---more...
Wait a minute. I remember..I... could not breathe!
I was so damn scared, the darkness..I couldn't see a damn thing!
I would turn around and there was no way out.
There screams, scratching, growling and the air was fowl.
Then things were attacking me from everywhere
Look at my arms, look at my legs
Now look, there were cuts all over me... IT WAS DAMN IT: IT WAS!
Wait! What happening, Where am I
I can't see, where am I?
I got to calm down for my own good.
Wait, something is different,
Where in the hell am I?
Christ I'm cold, stiff as a broad...
I am surrounded in an Ivory-white satin
Stitched, pleaded and ironed just so
My head rests on a pillow of ever soft satin
To lie here in open silence
In this bed; Not of my own choosing!
I now must sleep in
In my darkness, in, in shadows, my thoughts linger
Cold and hauntingly lonely
My bedfellow be named,
REGRET...
What question might there be?
And what it brought to this night
Look closely, a tear-soaked pillow from the ache in my heart
Bringing shameful doubts of self devotion
Alone in more than mere thought
Lying here in this silent night
I see an extended room filled with faceless shadows
Seated row after row, after row...
The feeling of four walls are closing in on me fast
Like a wild horse
Racing around an endless track of my past regrets
Pillow be my sponge
The blinders I'm wearing please guide my soul
I cry out loud
Sink, Oh Moon Sink
Lower and lower
Into a world of Mistakes
So that you can join me
And lie here in this bed made of silence...
I calculated the number if times I've crawled between sheets
Turned out the lights
Finding myself on the other side of midnight
Saying, "Forgive my judgments"
Sometimes to recall my misfortunes,
You would have had to lay beside me
To know my love,
To know how I would make love to you
Is to truly know me
Know that when I am making love,
We will kiss one an others soul
I would have it no other way
Jumping in and out of bed; Is far too often bodies without souls
What a waste!
Silence...
My life was filled with chaos
My pillow holds a lifetime of tears
I am tortured in my solitude
For all that I loved is gone
Lying here in this bed of silence
I watch faceless shadows walk by where I lie
In morbid hunch
I expected no more or no less
My pillow holds a lifetime of tears
Close the doors
I've seen all the misery I care to see
Shut the door
I have lived this life
Enough is enough
Regrets; like myself, will be laid to rest
This bed made of silence,
Will finally allow me to be alone
In my solitude...
I have paid my dues,
In, The Endless Darkness of The N e v e r m o r e . . .
