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 183. Teddy
Your death
Was the first one
That ever touched my life.
They say that before
We are two years old
We remember very little
But I remember you.

I remember mommy
Coming into my room
Asking me if
I remembered the
Pictures
Of the dust mites
In the doctor's office
And telling me
That because
They lived in you,
You had to go away
Until I was better.

I never got better
And I never saw you
Ever
Again.

I never forgot
That you were
Taken away
That a promise
Was made
And never kept.

The softness
Of your fur
Is burnt in
The neurons
Of my mind
And skin
Because I never
Stopped longing
To feel your
Comfort.

I can still remember
Your soft brown
Eyes,
Glistening with
A light
Only I saw.

I remember that
Your brown fur
Was the color
Of dark chocolate.

I remember that
Your face
Was the color of
Coffee well creamed.

I remember
That you were
The first thing
I ever lost
In my life…

You told
Relatives
Friends
And others
Not to get me
A new one…
Even when
They did
They went
In those
Clear plastic
Zippered bags
That come
Around blankets
And all I had
Was the
Crunching sound
And feel
Of plastic
There after,
Until one by one
Even those
“Mysteriously”
disappeared.

Now
Though years later
Now that
I am grown
Once a year
I try
Though I don't
Always succeed,
In getting
The softest
Most loveable
Huggable
Version of you
Each year,
To love on
All year round
Till your fur
Is matted
And dirtied
And so much
Love is filled
In your fiber
That others swear
When they come
In the room
That you are looking
At them,
And
I smile because
I know it is true
That I have poured
My heart and soul
In you
Until you were
Alive again.

For the two year old
In me
Will never die
Nor forget
That I loved you
First
And best…

My Teddy Bear.


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